Confessions of a new runner

Sunday May 16. 7:40 pm
2nd training day
5 minutes of Brisk Walking; 1 minute of “running”; 1 minute of brisk walking
(Repeat run/walk cycle 9 more times)
5 minute walking cool down

It sucked. I’m being over dramatic. It didn’t suck—I more than likely should have opted for yoga or the wii fit or lazing on the davenport (I loved when my grandma called the couch the davenport, it made it seem almost like a magical transporting seat that could take you any---where was I going with this???) oh yes, or I should have just simply counted weed whacking, manually edging the walk ways, and cleaning house my workout for today. But nooooooooo! Not this over achiever, I had to go full force and push myself further.

It’s all good really. I knew going into it that I was going to take it easy(ier), I have a hitch in my giddy up that is sending up to the ceiling from time to time—anyhow, talk about ADD tonight, wow! Did you know that if you stand on your head wow looks like mom? But not when you type it.

Anyhow, ha, banana, banana (really I have not had any wine tonight, honest—is this what they call a runners high?) I did my 5 minutes of not really so brisk walking (taking it easier remember?) then my first 5ish cycles were pretty okay – not going for speed here folks—I stopped to stretch after the 5th group (and it was right on the path that leads right up to my road and I could have so easily given up and called it quiets for the night, but nope I got back onto that trail, and started to trot again (that’s really what I’m doing, kind of have walk/jog errr trotting, ambling, sauntering, creeping, sloth-ing my way along)

I was greeted on the trail by two lovely dogs (which some of you know freaks me out to no end when dogs come running up to me when I’m moseying along in the dusk—they were blond colored dogs, so I was a little better and the owner yelling they wont bite, they just want to walk with you {sadly, I think I was “running” at the time}). The dogs threw my timing off, and I have not looked at the official stats of my ped-O-meter today to see how long I was out there running and not sure how far I went—but I did it! And it only sucked a bit and I know that Tuesday will suck less and Thursday might be even less suck-y.

To be honest, the part that makes me say it sucks is because I want to be better NOW!!! I have really and truly love the feeling of challenging myself. I have never ever ever before been a runner (only if you count running onto a field/court to the count of 5, 6, 7, 8 with toes pointed in attempts to kick my ass {former PomPom girl here}) Yes I have had the forced runnings of gym teachers in my day (Muller, not so motivating—Rutter would have been oh, so very) [Again where am I going with my bambling?] But I am actually achy when I can’t get out an move my body, when I’m driving somewhere and I see someone on a trail, I wish it were me out there. I have grown to love the sound of my feet thahthunking along on the forest floor (it’s not a forest, it’s just a trail through a tiny gully of trees, but it’s vast to me) I guess what I might be trying to say is that I am enjoying myself with this challenge in ways I did not think I would have {I figured I would have ran once and gave up}

I will always be a walker, I will never give up that stat, I’ve been doing it for years {two beautiful women in my life inspired me to walk for exercises way back when the garbage cans at sportsman’s park were orange) Walking is rooted in me, it’s who I am and helped to shape who I am today. Many miles were logged with a great walking partner in those formative days as well as many many hours of talking. I can never pooh pooh something as grand as that. I only see it, as now I will have options.

(Man I think it took longer to write this that it did to actually do what I'm writing about)

My Doctor Gave me HomeWork!

I went to the doc today to have my levels of various things tested. Here's the jist of it.

Blood Sugar: Good
Liver Funtion: Good
Thyroid stuff: Good
Blood Pressure: Good
Resting Pulse: Good
Weight--down almost 2 pounds since last year (at least it's down!)
cholestral results are mostly improved, but I still have my sticky wickets with it (as always) This is were the homework comes in.

I have to go back to get retested at the end of summer (Happy Birthday to me) just to make sure that I was able to make changes. We talked about why we thought my Tri's were higher this time and I came up with the answer of stress and stress eating sweets to help with it all (tip: the eating of sweets does not really help at all) I also told her that I did not expect to get in to see her so soon (I called yesterday to make the appointment) so I did not have time to "study" for my test and I didn't think that was very fair, so she told me that I had "homework" to do.

Here's my homework:
I'm going to get back to eating my beans
excersie more
cut back on refined sugars
and take Fish oil

Not too bad--if I fail, I think she will try to put me on meds (which she tried to talk to me about today, but I told her I prefered to prove to her that I could make improvements without them.

Once I got home, I thought about the fact that the night before we went for Chinse food--I'm sure that had something to do with it all. Although I will say that my 2 plates of food look much different than they did say 5 or 6 years ago (lots of space on the plate and not a bit of stacking) but I did have me a spring roll. Isn't it funny how we find a place to blame no matter what. Not, it's me--I've been stuffing all the wrong things in.

I DVR'd it, but wondering if anyone saw Oprah yesterday--the Women, Food, & God one? If so what did you think? I'm going to read the book before I say anything more.

Winning for losing

Today I got an e-mail letting me know that I won something, yet again. I'm so freaking excited. I'll back up and tell you more about the story.

I have become a free-bee couponing goddess (goddess come in all forms you know)I have found many sites that give tips on how to save money, get thing for less and get things for free. One of my very favorite is All You magazine. It is an actual magazine that you can buy at Wal-Mart (not sure if you can get it anywhere else) but it is full of tips and coupons (or Koopins as I like to say) There are many other lady type topics included as well. I found out that they are also on facebook (and who isn't these days?)Every day I check out their page to find out about free offers, give aways, and anything else they may be talking about.

Currently, All You is promoting getting healthy and losing weight (just like every magazine) one of the things they talk about is moving your body and checking your progress, you know the same old song and dance--they were giving away pedometers to 500 people, I wrote a short blurb about why I want to lose weight and my 50 or fewer words won me a prize.

So anyhow short story long, I now have two prizes that will be coming my way--a food scale and a pedometer. I think that must be a sign. I truly am a winner.

Check that off the bucket list

After 12-ish weeks of training, I can cross a half-marathon off my bucket list. Will I do it again? YES!!! I loved it. The weather was beautiful. The course was amazing. And the way I felt...hmmmm. I was just happy. There was never a point that I felt like throwing in the towel. If they would have told me that I had to walk another 2 miles to the actual finish line, I would have said "Okay" and then just kept walking. I guess that's a good thing. I did not cry when I crossed the finish line, nor did I have any real overwhelming feelings at all during the 3:45:10 I was out there. I guess I had the voices of all my peeps with me to get me through and to help me understand that it was all good. It was all good. Very good.

It's offical

I went to the Y tonight to pick up my race packet (Go 582) My stomach was doing flip flops all the way through the maze of hall ways (I hope when they build the new Y they make it less mazy) I stood in line to get my packet for what felt like forever--my nerves where just frazzled, I kept thinking "what did I get myself into?" and I was very self conscious among all the athletic type people (I'm think about getting a tattoo after the race proclaiming that I am a walker)

I know that people are probable not thinking what my head thinks their thinking ("what is she doing here?"-that's the thought I think they think) I know I need to view myself as the athlete that I really am, but I just can't help thinking that I'm only walking this, I'm not running, I'm not decked out in fancy clothing--
I'm wearing a t-shirt and sweats how can I be an athlete (maybe it's the sports
bra(s) qualify me in the athletic status)?

As you can see, I have doubts and fears and cold feet (har har) I need to stop this stinkin' thinkin' get out of my own head and just let it be what it is.

So when it was finally my turn to get my packet the lady tells me that I'll have to come back tomorrow to get my race t-shirt--joy, I get to have those feeling all over again. Maybe after a good nights sleep, I'll be able to view things differently. Sunday morning, I'll be sure to put on some warm socks to keep my feet from getting cold.

The Dusty Goddess

I've been trying hard to work on my resolution this year--but for some reason, things keep getting thrown in my path. I know that if I had already achieved perfect Goddessdomness (its my blog, I can make up words, right?) I would have all the answers and know the tricks of how to jump over the potholes, branches, rocks, roots, & general debris that keeps tripping me up. But in no way am I close to that knowledge. So I keep stumbling and falling down. But I keep trying. I keep trying.

I read this little jewel of wisdom today and I thought it was just so perfectly matched to how I should be feeling right now.

We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.

Sometimes I get caught up in my own stuff and think that nobody could be as bad off as I am right now--sadly someone always dealing with something worse than I am. It's not my goal to try to out do the pain and stuggles of others. I want to learn empathy, to be able to hear what they are saying, but not feel the pressure to take on their burdens as well as mine. Selfishly, I can only carry what my own backpack right now.

At this point in my journey, I would like to take some of the stuff I've been caring out of my pack and leave it along the trail and let it decay and turn into rich soil.-- If I am unable to leave things behind, I would at least like to make friends with these obstacles. If I could better understand these road blocks or even find a way to make my life work because of or in spite of the twists and turns, maybe the load would not seem so hard. I am going to look at things from all angles but hopefully I will find the sunniest way of dealing with some unsunny things.

So this goddess-in-training is going to pick herself up and dust herself off and find a new way to travel or maybe just learn to let it be what it is and enjoy the view as best as I can.

Calling All Cheerleaders

I tell ya folks--I'm 9 or 10 weeks into my traning and I am draggin'. My body hurts. I'm not having any fun anymore. I'm so looking forward to just being done with this whole thing. I've missed workout days just because I'm just not feeling it. I need something to spark my enthusiasum--kick start my pride, something that makes me remeber why I am doing the event (why am I doing it again?) I need some cheerleaders. Anyone who wants to help motivate me, please, please, do so--in any way that you want.

I have to remember the wise words of my 8 year old "It doesn't matter if you come in last, what matters is that you are doing it". I just need to get out of my head. I need to stop feeling defeated when I don't accomplish something one day, but look back at all that I have done--I've WALKED over 100 miles so far this year that is amazing.