Today is a day that we, as a family, just like most families, have been planning and preping for well since last year. We normally make a short trip to my husbands families to feast and gorge and then have dessert (pie anyone?). This year our plans changed, then changed again, changed back and maybe had another twist in the plot.
The weather has kept us home--and as much as I love spending time with my in-laws and family friends, it is really nice to just stay home and be still for a change (okay really not still, but unable to leave the house). I have already accomplished some goals for the weekend and plan on spending some time reading Little Women while cuddled up under a blanket.
The kids have been enjoying their humble load of gifts and finding other gifts from days gone by to use as well.
Martin is fully enjoying his lego sets and the lego brick builder magazine he reseaved (a magazine that will come every 2 months with legos, guess that will keep him busy all year long) Maybe someday he will join my brother in building or maybe enginering or something that pays him well so he can put us in a good home someday.
Poppy has been bouncing back and forth from one thing to another, flitting as only she does best. She was gifted a new bedding set which means she will be taking on a "new" big girl bed. She is elated. It's like a whole new room for her and she keeps checking it out. She keeps "writing" in her diary too, I'm sure she is noting details about how wonderful this Christmas is turning out to be. Or maybe she has been inspired by her all time favorite musical Mama Mia and is just writing dot dot dot. (only hoping she is not implying the same meaning to dot dot dot)
Adam is doing this and that and I believe it is his Christmas wish to get some wii time in. I'm sure he will be succesful.
I will end this little holiday tribute with a wish for you, who is reading this, may the coming year bring unexpeceted moments that you will charish for always.
Merry Christmas to you.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Purging
No--I'm not talking about me having bulimia. I'm talking about the fact that I am actually getting rid of the junk that has been overtaking our home. I am a collector and a saver and maybe a border line hoarder...but I gave myself permission to just throw it away and so far, it's been working out really great.
I am tossing out all those little things that I have no idea what they are for that I had saved in hopes that someday someone would know and then I could come to the rescue with a triumphant *Ta-DA* (insert magical sounding music here) here is the item of which you speak. I am hoping that this cleaning it out streak last a while and that I don't start to turn the corner and become all sentimental over things and go back to my stashing away ways.
I think this disorder must be in my blood--my fathers mother is a pack rat and I hate to admit it, but I believe I am as well. I have joined a program for people like myself and with the guidance of people who know, I am hoping I can recover and begin to live the full life I wish to have--instead of the life full of crap.
I have
I am tossing out all those little things that I have no idea what they are for that I had saved in hopes that someday someone would know and then I could come to the rescue with a triumphant *Ta-DA* (insert magical sounding music here) here is the item of which you speak. I am hoping that this cleaning it out streak last a while and that I don't start to turn the corner and become all sentimental over things and go back to my stashing away ways.
I think this disorder must be in my blood--my fathers mother is a pack rat and I hate to admit it, but I believe I am as well. I have joined a program for people like myself and with the guidance of people who know, I am hoping I can recover and begin to live the full life I wish to have--instead of the life full of crap.
I have
Sunday, November 22, 2009
New Goal
My new goal is to weigh less at the end of this year than I did at the beginning. So far I'm doing okay, but have to make it through the holidays.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Brush with Death
I believe I almost met my maker this morning. I had extream chest pains and difficulty breathing. I was light headed and my legs we completely unstable. I think I may have blacked out for a moment--I have know idea of how I got home. See riding a bike with a trolly toting 60+ pounds is not good for your health--but very good for the imagination I guess.
Me and my big ideas--today Marty's school was participating in Walk to School day--so I got the idea that riding bike would be faster. Again, Me and My Big Ideas. First thing I had to pull the bike and trolley out of the garage. Fill all the tires with air (some of them the job required me to repeat my actions). The get the two children in the cart & buckled in--bike helments on. Then ride the bike and all the child weight and mine the .08 miles to the school. Not bad. But coming home, the down hill becomes an up hill and that was hell. I thought I was in shape. That was a slap in the face and a tack in my inflated ego. Part of me wants to try it again so I can get stronger and prove to myself that I am cable--but oh, man I am pretty sure there is a stronger part of my brain that takes on a certain ethnic tone and says "I don't think so". I really hope that is the stronger than my big ideas.
Sometimes I think I need to hire that cricket from the movie and it will be his job to tell me NO. If we would have just walked to school, I would feel a bit tired, but good. This feeling is not good. Okay, so I didn't really almost die--I do have a tendency to be a little dramatic--just a little--but I don't think this is the kind of training I want to put myself through. This type of push may work for some people, but I know myself and it will send me running in the other direction. Maybe I should try just biking on my own again. I need a nap.
Me and my big ideas--today Marty's school was participating in Walk to School day--so I got the idea that riding bike would be faster. Again, Me and My Big Ideas. First thing I had to pull the bike and trolley out of the garage. Fill all the tires with air (some of them the job required me to repeat my actions). The get the two children in the cart & buckled in--bike helments on. Then ride the bike and all the child weight and mine the .08 miles to the school. Not bad. But coming home, the down hill becomes an up hill and that was hell. I thought I was in shape. That was a slap in the face and a tack in my inflated ego. Part of me wants to try it again so I can get stronger and prove to myself that I am cable--but oh, man I am pretty sure there is a stronger part of my brain that takes on a certain ethnic tone and says "I don't think so". I really hope that is the stronger than my big ideas.
Sometimes I think I need to hire that cricket from the movie and it will be his job to tell me NO. If we would have just walked to school, I would feel a bit tired, but good. This feeling is not good. Okay, so I didn't really almost die--I do have a tendency to be a little dramatic--just a little--but I don't think this is the kind of training I want to put myself through. This type of push may work for some people, but I know myself and it will send me running in the other direction. Maybe I should try just biking on my own again. I need a nap.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
One box of Rice-a-ronni
Last night for evening meal (supper, dinner, what have you) I was in charge of making sides to go along with the lovely piece of salmon we were having. A few weeks back we took part in a sale of buy a lot get something for free (the rice-a-roni was the buy a lot part) so I decided I was going to make that--but we only had one box of the "flavor" I figured would pair well with our fish. I did not know what I was going to do. Would there be enough for our family of 4--2 adults and 2 children?
I grew up in and still belong to (plus gained with marriage) families that make way too much food--would hate to have anyone go hungry. There is always so much of everything. Good things too (wouldn't it be wonderful to have family that can not cook and you never wanted to eat their bounty) Some may call it hospitality, I call it a disorder (isn't everything some time of disorder nowadays?) This disorder is bad--it cause puffiness to all who succumb to the defeating questions or demands of "Did you get enough to eat" or "Don't be afraid to take seconds, I made plenty" I am normally rendered powerless to these and other familiar phrases. This disorder causes delusions of mass quantity--it causes the maker of foods to think they are feeding armies verses a mere catholic family.
So would one box of Rice-A-Ronni be enough. It was--and there were left over (lots of them) of all things. Left-overs from one single box of the stuff. There was a time in our food obsessed/oblivious/addicted past that the hubs and I would have polished off the whole box, just the two of us along with the amount of salmon that the whole family feasted on (and there was a bit left of that as well).
One small step for man, one giant accomplishment for me. Or a realization more so. I've been stuck in a silly old rut and have been trying to get myself out of it--trying to get back to counting points and measuring food amount exactly (all which do work, but really how livable are those techniques when we are talking forever). I have decided to take the highroad or the road less traveled. I am going to go with sensibility. Eat sensibly, move sensibly and lose sensibly (lost 0.8 this week). What a concept--think I could make millions if I market it right?
I grew up in and still belong to (plus gained with marriage) families that make way too much food--would hate to have anyone go hungry. There is always so much of everything. Good things too (wouldn't it be wonderful to have family that can not cook and you never wanted to eat their bounty) Some may call it hospitality, I call it a disorder (isn't everything some time of disorder nowadays?) This disorder is bad--it cause puffiness to all who succumb to the defeating questions or demands of "Did you get enough to eat" or "Don't be afraid to take seconds, I made plenty" I am normally rendered powerless to these and other familiar phrases. This disorder causes delusions of mass quantity--it causes the maker of foods to think they are feeding armies verses a mere catholic family.
So would one box of Rice-A-Ronni be enough. It was--and there were left over (lots of them) of all things. Left-overs from one single box of the stuff. There was a time in our food obsessed/oblivious/addicted past that the hubs and I would have polished off the whole box, just the two of us along with the amount of salmon that the whole family feasted on (and there was a bit left of that as well).
One small step for man, one giant accomplishment for me. Or a realization more so. I've been stuck in a silly old rut and have been trying to get myself out of it--trying to get back to counting points and measuring food amount exactly (all which do work, but really how livable are those techniques when we are talking forever). I have decided to take the highroad or the road less traveled. I am going to go with sensibility. Eat sensibly, move sensibly and lose sensibly (lost 0.8 this week). What a concept--think I could make millions if I market it right?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I've been bad
I have not been very good at blogging. I have not been very good at exercising. I have not been very good at eating healthfully. Maybe this wise facebook stat my 17 almost 18 year old cousin (is she really that old already???) posted was meant for my eyes to see:
the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.
When I wake up in the morning--I can change everything.
the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.
When I wake up in the morning--I can change everything.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Back to Reality
Now that the wedding is over, I can get back to reality. This week the schedule is wide open and full of working out and eating better opps.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
In the right direction
Well it seems the scale is heading back in the right direction this week. Down 1.8 pounds--surprised after birthday pie.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Perfectionism Trap
Here is an artical I recieved from bestlife.com--I thought it had some really good things that are nice to remind myself when I'm trying to be "perfect".
By Michael Scholtz, M.A., Best Life fitness expert
It's great to be conscientious about your diet and exercise sessions, but cutting yourself some slack keeps your motivation high. Try adopting an 80/20 approach—strive to make healthy choices 80 percent of the time; this leaves room in your weight loss and fitness programs for setbacks. Here's how to do it:
• Change your thinking. Don't use the words "good" or "bad" to describe food, yourself or your behavior. These words can promote the unhealthy all-or-nothing pattern you're trying to avoid.
• Establish a range for goals. This allows for more flexibility. For instance, "I'll walk 30 minutes four to six times a week" is better than planning to walk everyday.
• Schedule off days. Take a day off from exercise each week. Use the time to focus on a nurturing activity, such as reading or catching up with friends.
• Enlist help. Consider meeting with a nutritionist, trainer, counselor or coach. They can help keep you motivated and also make sure your goals are realistic.
• Cheer yourself on. Place a note in your bathroom, your car or on your calendar to remind yourself to relax.
• Be patient. Nothing causes more frustration than thinking you should be losing faster than you are. Aim to shed up to 1 percent of your body weight each week, but realize that plateaus are part of the journey.
By Michael Scholtz, M.A., Best Life fitness expert
It's great to be conscientious about your diet and exercise sessions, but cutting yourself some slack keeps your motivation high. Try adopting an 80/20 approach—strive to make healthy choices 80 percent of the time; this leaves room in your weight loss and fitness programs for setbacks. Here's how to do it:
• Change your thinking. Don't use the words "good" or "bad" to describe food, yourself or your behavior. These words can promote the unhealthy all-or-nothing pattern you're trying to avoid.
• Establish a range for goals. This allows for more flexibility. For instance, "I'll walk 30 minutes four to six times a week" is better than planning to walk everyday.
• Schedule off days. Take a day off from exercise each week. Use the time to focus on a nurturing activity, such as reading or catching up with friends.
• Enlist help. Consider meeting with a nutritionist, trainer, counselor or coach. They can help keep you motivated and also make sure your goals are realistic.
• Cheer yourself on. Place a note in your bathroom, your car or on your calendar to remind yourself to relax.
• Be patient. Nothing causes more frustration than thinking you should be losing faster than you are. Aim to shed up to 1 percent of your body weight each week, but realize that plateaus are part of the journey.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Nordic Walking
For the last year-ish, I have been wanting to get into something called Nodic Walking? Have you heard of it? Basicly, it is walking with ski poles--special ski poles, mind you. I looked into the "sport" a little more and found out that the poles were very special indeed--like upwards of $120 special and I'm sure there were others that were even more special. So I put that dream to rest, but still kept my eye on them on amazon.
I found them at Target!!! For $20 for both poles, not just one, but two. I'm sure there are "better" poles out there, but for me these work perfectly. They can be used on regular surfaces as well as in hiking type of conditions. They are also adjustable. My family and I went to Target yesterday to buy my birthday present. Martin kept telling me that they had to leave me at home so the present would be a surpise, but I told him that I knew what I was getting and the surpise was for them. The kids were very excited as well.
I thought that I enjoyed walking before--but now it's got a fun little twist to it. I have always tried to use my Oprah arms while walking to help burn more, but the nordic walking does so much more--you really feel it and it is such a work out. The packaging claims I can burn up to 45% more calories and strengthen 90% of my muscles. I'm not sure if it is all true, but I was tuckered after a mile so I called it a day. I know that I will need to work up my endurance before I can head up for a six mile walk with the poles. But I look forward to it. I think once I get a little more use to walking this new way, it will just start to feel and be more natural. Who would have thought walking with ski poles would be so sweat inducing?
I found them at Target!!! For $20 for both poles, not just one, but two. I'm sure there are "better" poles out there, but for me these work perfectly. They can be used on regular surfaces as well as in hiking type of conditions. They are also adjustable. My family and I went to Target yesterday to buy my birthday present. Martin kept telling me that they had to leave me at home so the present would be a surpise, but I told him that I knew what I was getting and the surpise was for them. The kids were very excited as well.
I thought that I enjoyed walking before--but now it's got a fun little twist to it. I have always tried to use my Oprah arms while walking to help burn more, but the nordic walking does so much more--you really feel it and it is such a work out. The packaging claims I can burn up to 45% more calories and strengthen 90% of my muscles. I'm not sure if it is all true, but I was tuckered after a mile so I called it a day. I know that I will need to work up my endurance before I can head up for a six mile walk with the poles. But I look forward to it. I think once I get a little more use to walking this new way, it will just start to feel and be more natural. Who would have thought walking with ski poles would be so sweat inducing?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Cheese Cake, Frappe, and Burgers...Oh, My!
After a wonderful carefree weekend of Eating Quiche, drinking yummy Frappes (but it was dark chocolate)having chips & homemade salsa, drinking a touch of wine, burgers & fries and eating a very grand baked oatmeal complete with cream to pour over the top, has left me 3 pounds higher this week.
I know exactly where the three pounds I gained went. There is about a pound that has reattached itself to my gut, a pound on my ass and my hips have been nice enough to share a pound together. The reason I know this is because I tried on my dress for the wedding I am in only a little over 2 weeks. I'm so glad that Kaylee's mother is just starting on alterations. I'm not going to let the alterations be good enough, I'm going to work my body in hopes that things will be a little smoother under the taffeta. In fact last night when I got home (after 11pm) I did a quick video. I'm not hoping for a miracle, just a little less mush and a lot more confidence.
I know exactly where the three pounds I gained went. There is about a pound that has reattached itself to my gut, a pound on my ass and my hips have been nice enough to share a pound together. The reason I know this is because I tried on my dress for the wedding I am in only a little over 2 weeks. I'm so glad that Kaylee's mother is just starting on alterations. I'm not going to let the alterations be good enough, I'm going to work my body in hopes that things will be a little smoother under the taffeta. In fact last night when I got home (after 11pm) I did a quick video. I'm not hoping for a miracle, just a little less mush and a lot more confidence.
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Climb
This is something that I need to keep in my mind--even if you are not a fan of Hannah Tannah, the words (provided below) sum it up this journey.
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I am
down a tiny little bit from last week. .2 to be exact. And since the computer was sick with a bad bug I never reported that last week I was up almost 4 pounds. Moving forward. Moving forward.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
not given up
I'm not giving up--life has just been getting in the way of me taking care of me. Right now I am in the process of trying to make things better for us--by that I mean I am working towards becoming a licenced family day care. This is something that had been in the goal list, but not up front and center--it was always a well maybe someday, but in order to help out our family the time has come.
So does this mean I am not taking care of myself? We'll not as good as I was or should be, but right now I'm trying to figure out how to make myself a priority when I have other things that need to get done and by the time the day is over, there is no time left. I don't know if any of you have looked outside at 4:45 but it is DARK out there--last week I got up and went for a morning walk and it was a bit freaky, so now I need to readjust myself and find something else that works. (I'm making excuses again--old habits, they sneak up on a person) I am beat--going to head to bed.
So does this mean I am not taking care of myself? We'll not as good as I was or should be, but right now I'm trying to figure out how to make myself a priority when I have other things that need to get done and by the time the day is over, there is no time left. I don't know if any of you have looked outside at 4:45 but it is DARK out there--last week I got up and went for a morning walk and it was a bit freaky, so now I need to readjust myself and find something else that works. (I'm making excuses again--old habits, they sneak up on a person) I am beat--going to head to bed.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Back on my Program
After being on vacation, I just can't seem to get myself back on my program. I've given up writing down what I eat, have been excising very inconsistently, and just don't seem to be in the right frame of mind. I want to change it--I'm going to change it. This is only a temporary block in my path (maybe I should turn around and go a different way?)
I had been in my routine and then life happened and for some reason it seemed a little easier to wait around for the next train. But it is not easier--I'm beat, tired, moody, feel slumpy and I just don't like it. I've been having headaches a lot more--in fact last night I went to bed with one--but I set my alarm anyhow. This morning, like almost every morning lately, I turned it off, however my head feels very heavy & stuffed and sore and I just want to sleep. My eyes keep running and my head is throbbing. I did not walk this morning. I'm going to drink tea with honey today and hope that I'm just dealing with allergies and not some sort of sinus funk. Tomorrow is weigh in day (not thinking it's going to be good)--I feel myself slipping back into old habits. Someone throw me a rope before it is too late. I'm going to go lay down now.
I had been in my routine and then life happened and for some reason it seemed a little easier to wait around for the next train. But it is not easier--I'm beat, tired, moody, feel slumpy and I just don't like it. I've been having headaches a lot more--in fact last night I went to bed with one--but I set my alarm anyhow. This morning, like almost every morning lately, I turned it off, however my head feels very heavy & stuffed and sore and I just want to sleep. My eyes keep running and my head is throbbing. I did not walk this morning. I'm going to drink tea with honey today and hope that I'm just dealing with allergies and not some sort of sinus funk. Tomorrow is weigh in day (not thinking it's going to be good)--I feel myself slipping back into old habits. Someone throw me a rope before it is too late. I'm going to go lay down now.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Energy Drain
Someone has come along and pulled the plug on my energy and I feel as though I have nothing left. The crazy thing is that I know that if I could just move my body, I would feel so much better. My mind and body seem to working against each other at this point in time. I need to realign myself and get into balance...not just with exercise, but with everything that is going on in my world. I cleaned up my sun room this weekend and in the process, I think I may have misplaced my motivation. I'm going to go see if I filed it somewhere...
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
ParCourse
We headed out to Lowes Creek Park as soon as I finished typing my last blog--it was a fun time--Martin wants to go back every day to do it and Poppy also wants to join in on the fun. Some of the stations were very very hard, but we just had fun and made the most of what we could do. What a beautiful area it is--very peaceful (with the exception of my children yelling at each other) I would go back for sure. It's also loaded with tons of off road bike trails if that is something anyone is interested in.
This evening I think the kids and I are going to head to Owen park to kick off the celebration of Night Out on Crime (don't forget to turn on your porch lights tonight) They have a little carnival with games & prizes and music--I think we will park across the river so we can get in some movement therapy--and avoid tons of traffic. We love walking across that old train bridge and love walking along the river. Martin also wants to tackle the stairs tonight--maybe will throw that in for just a little extra fun : o )
This evening I think the kids and I are going to head to Owen park to kick off the celebration of Night Out on Crime (don't forget to turn on your porch lights tonight) They have a little carnival with games & prizes and music--I think we will park across the river so we can get in some movement therapy--and avoid tons of traffic. We love walking across that old train bridge and love walking along the river. Martin also wants to tackle the stairs tonight--maybe will throw that in for just a little extra fun : o )
Monday, August 3, 2009
When
When I have nothing to blog about, I need to remember to keep at it. It helps me stay more honest when I feel as though someone is checking up on me. When I get lazy about blogging I tend to get lazy about everything. Sorry if I start to get boring, the boring stuff is really just for me.
Today the kids and I went to Big Falls and climbed around all the rocks. It was such a nice time, I even forgot about how bad my legs still hurt from the stair climbing that took place last Friday night (darn trainer) We had a picnic lunch before our climb and all though it was not the healthiest of choices--there were chips involved and we had ice cream after our fun in the sun--I have come to terms that this time around I'm not playing with an all or nothing tude. It's okay to have chips with a meal and ice cream as a treat, it is not okay for me to eat an entire bag of chips or have ice cream every afternoon. I am on a plan that I will be on for the rest of my life and need to make that plan livable--something that makes me feel normal and not stand out because today I am only eating things that are blue.
I was chatting with a good friend (I'll keep your name a secret ; o )) about maybe we should not call workouts "workouts" because the word work in there always makes me feel like something dreaded may be involves. I've been tossing around some ideas and have extended a challenge to come up with a new term for the process of movement that keeps me feeling good--I've come up with Therapy, but not sure if that's what I want to call it either, I'm afraid someone might start charging me $$$'s every time I partake in this activity. Her and I also talked about how we need to make sure that this time is fun & why not involved the whole family from time to time. I will still take my beloved walks alone, but from time to time I will have the kids tag a long and if we stop to skip rocks, then we do, I still benefit from the activity even if my target heart rate is briefly interrupted. One of the main reasons I am on this healthier path is so that my children see me living my life--and how are they going to see it if there are never along for the ride.
My most wonderful Chiro was telling me about a trail near Eau Claire that has stopping points where you do various things (such as push ups or some other type of 70's activities, everything is retro these days) I think I will take the kids there sometime soon so we can have a good laugh and really isn't that what it is really all about. Thank you for the laughter.
Today the kids and I went to Big Falls and climbed around all the rocks. It was such a nice time, I even forgot about how bad my legs still hurt from the stair climbing that took place last Friday night (darn trainer) We had a picnic lunch before our climb and all though it was not the healthiest of choices--there were chips involved and we had ice cream after our fun in the sun--I have come to terms that this time around I'm not playing with an all or nothing tude. It's okay to have chips with a meal and ice cream as a treat, it is not okay for me to eat an entire bag of chips or have ice cream every afternoon. I am on a plan that I will be on for the rest of my life and need to make that plan livable--something that makes me feel normal and not stand out because today I am only eating things that are blue.
I was chatting with a good friend (I'll keep your name a secret ; o )) about maybe we should not call workouts "workouts" because the word work in there always makes me feel like something dreaded may be involves. I've been tossing around some ideas and have extended a challenge to come up with a new term for the process of movement that keeps me feeling good--I've come up with Therapy, but not sure if that's what I want to call it either, I'm afraid someone might start charging me $$$'s every time I partake in this activity. Her and I also talked about how we need to make sure that this time is fun & why not involved the whole family from time to time. I will still take my beloved walks alone, but from time to time I will have the kids tag a long and if we stop to skip rocks, then we do, I still benefit from the activity even if my target heart rate is briefly interrupted. One of the main reasons I am on this healthier path is so that my children see me living my life--and how are they going to see it if there are never along for the ride.
My most wonderful Chiro was telling me about a trail near Eau Claire that has stopping points where you do various things (such as push ups or some other type of 70's activities, everything is retro these days) I think I will take the kids there sometime soon so we can have a good laugh and really isn't that what it is really all about. Thank you for the laughter.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Personal Trainer
I've hired myself a personal trainer. And he is hard core. He made me climb the stairs of hell almost 2 times tonight. Grrrrrrrr...
the maddening part of the whole thing is that he is so perky and fricken cheerful "Come on!" "You can do it!" "We are going to dominate these stairs" Then after climbing and climbing and climbing--he has the nerve to say "Aren't these fun?". and then "So are we going to do this again tomorrow?"
the maddening part of the whole thing is that he is so perky and fricken cheerful "Come on!" "You can do it!" "We are going to dominate these stairs" Then after climbing and climbing and climbing--he has the nerve to say "Aren't these fun?". and then "So are we going to do this again tomorrow?"
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The effect of Girls Weekend
So I was going to post a little about how I gained 2.2 pounds while way on my wonderful vacation, however something happened during the time I started to write and from now.
Many of you know how I have been toying with the idea of participating in the Half-Marathon in Chippewa Falls (Pure Water Days) on August 8. I sent an e-mail the following e-mail:
Mark;
I am considering participating in the Half Marathon for Pure Water Days
on August 8. I plan on walking the entire event and I am wondering if
walking is allowed. I have been "training" for a half marathon as one of my
"bucket list" items and figure it will take me around 4 hours to walk. I know
that most participants are runners, I was just hoping that a slow pace girl
like myself would be welcomed to achieve a goal. I was also wondering if
there is a way of getting a good map so I can try out the course before the
race day.
Thank you for your time
Stacy Leibrich
stacyleibrich@charter.net
Here is the response:
Hi Stacy,
The Half marathon is a running event so you would not be able to walk
it. The slowest runners in the past would be finishing about 2 hours ahead
of you. We would be unable to staff the aid stations for that length of
time. You could run the 4 mile event and do a run/walk if you had to, or you
could walk the 2 Mile Fit walk event. I have a map posted on the website.
Here is the link. http://www.chippewaymca.com/pure_water_days.shtml
Thanks...Mark
Why the hell do I have to be a rule follower? Why do I always have to make sure of everything? I should have just showed up at the event and walked and then they would have had to stay to staff the aid stations (that would more than likely be completely out of any aid that I may have needed). I am angry, or defeated or frustrated or maybe just a little bit mad at myself for doing what I did. Deflated. Maybe that's the right word.
This is the e-mail his responds prompted me to write:
Dear Paul;
I was not sure who to address this to, so I figured the guy at the top of the list is a good place to start.
I have participated in a few events and have such a great time. I look forward to being a part of more in the future.
I am a walker. I am the one who is fine with coming in last, running and my body just don't get along that well and I actually like the pace and the high that I achieve with my 15+ minute mile. I am proudly wearing the Tortoise & the Hare shirt and claiming my self titled Tortoise status. Maybe someday I will be learn to embraces running, however; for now, I will continue to slowly log my miles and eat everyone else's dust.
I was wondering if you have had the pleasure of meeting other people who love to walk long distances? I want to know if there are more individuals are there that want to participate in half-marathons and feel as though they can not or have been flat out told that the event is strictly for runners and that the amount of time it takes for a walk to complete the event is not possible due to staffing for aid. I want to know if there are more people like myself that have not had water to drink because it's all gone by the time they get to the drinking station.
Mostly I want to know if anyone has ever mentioned starting a walking club for walking enthusiasts and also wondering how someone would go about starting such group. I think that would be a fine partnership. A way to get people moving. People, like myself that just want to walk.
Stacy Leibrich
We'll see what kind of a respond I get from this one.
Many of you know how I have been toying with the idea of participating in the Half-Marathon in Chippewa Falls (Pure Water Days) on August 8. I sent an e-mail the following e-mail:
Mark;
I am considering participating in the Half Marathon for Pure Water Days
on August 8. I plan on walking the entire event and I am wondering if
walking is allowed. I have been "training" for a half marathon as one of my
"bucket list" items and figure it will take me around 4 hours to walk. I know
that most participants are runners, I was just hoping that a slow pace girl
like myself would be welcomed to achieve a goal. I was also wondering if
there is a way of getting a good map so I can try out the course before the
race day.
Thank you for your time
Stacy Leibrich
stacyleibrich@charter.net
Here is the response:
Hi Stacy,
The Half marathon is a running event so you would not be able to walk
it. The slowest runners in the past would be finishing about 2 hours ahead
of you. We would be unable to staff the aid stations for that length of
time. You could run the 4 mile event and do a run/walk if you had to, or you
could walk the 2 Mile Fit walk event. I have a map posted on the website.
Here is the link. http://www.chippewaymca.com/pure_water_days.shtml
Thanks...Mark
Why the hell do I have to be a rule follower? Why do I always have to make sure of everything? I should have just showed up at the event and walked and then they would have had to stay to staff the aid stations (that would more than likely be completely out of any aid that I may have needed). I am angry, or defeated or frustrated or maybe just a little bit mad at myself for doing what I did. Deflated. Maybe that's the right word.
This is the e-mail his responds prompted me to write:
Dear Paul;
I was not sure who to address this to, so I figured the guy at the top of the list is a good place to start.
I have participated in a few events and have such a great time. I look forward to being a part of more in the future.
I am a walker. I am the one who is fine with coming in last, running and my body just don't get along that well and I actually like the pace and the high that I achieve with my 15+ minute mile. I am proudly wearing the Tortoise & the Hare shirt and claiming my self titled Tortoise status. Maybe someday I will be learn to embraces running, however; for now, I will continue to slowly log my miles and eat everyone else's dust.
I was wondering if you have had the pleasure of meeting other people who love to walk long distances? I want to know if there are more individuals are there that want to participate in half-marathons and feel as though they can not or have been flat out told that the event is strictly for runners and that the amount of time it takes for a walk to complete the event is not possible due to staffing for aid. I want to know if there are more people like myself that have not had water to drink because it's all gone by the time they get to the drinking station.
Mostly I want to know if anyone has ever mentioned starting a walking club for walking enthusiasts and also wondering how someone would go about starting such group. I think that would be a fine partnership. A way to get people moving. People, like myself that just want to walk.
Stacy Leibrich
We'll see what kind of a respond I get from this one.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Vacation (the recap)
What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful time I had. It was perfect! Did a lot of relaxing, book reading, laughing, movie watching, campfire sitting, talking, shopping, lake walking, rock picking, and just a lot of fun was had.
I ate--boy, oh, boy did I eat and for the most part, I don't feel bad about it. At times I only sampled and there were times were I plainly over indulge. I'm okay with being human, for being a Roman while in Rome. If the scale indicates a gain for the first time since I started this particular journey, I will be more than okay with it. It will be fine.
I did not move my body as much as I would have liked--(I can't feel the verbal smacking right now) for one, I was just in heaven not having to do much of anything but relax. 2) We were in the woods and I did not want to meet up with the bear that likes to hang out in the front yard of the cabin we were staying in & c) my body was in pain because for some reason I ran a walk that I wish I would have only walked. Thursday night I earned the title of the Tortoise--if only unofficially, I think Turt would be a very awesome nick name--Kati and I participated in the Tortoise and the Hare Race here in Eau Claire and while doing it, I completely forgot that I am not in any way shape or form a runner (or a jogger) I am build for distance not for speed. But because of the little bit of running that I did do, I hobbled around the whole weekend like I had completed a marathon.
Even though I broke my pledge of working out while on vacation, I'm fine with it as well. While talking to a personal trainer I felt better about my temporary derailment, know that someone who's job it is to teach people to live healthier said "You know what, you should really just enjoy your vacation" It's true--and I did.
I ate--boy, oh, boy did I eat and for the most part, I don't feel bad about it. At times I only sampled and there were times were I plainly over indulge. I'm okay with being human, for being a Roman while in Rome. If the scale indicates a gain for the first time since I started this particular journey, I will be more than okay with it. It will be fine.
I did not move my body as much as I would have liked--(I can't feel the verbal smacking right now) for one, I was just in heaven not having to do much of anything but relax. 2) We were in the woods and I did not want to meet up with the bear that likes to hang out in the front yard of the cabin we were staying in & c) my body was in pain because for some reason I ran a walk that I wish I would have only walked. Thursday night I earned the title of the Tortoise--if only unofficially, I think Turt would be a very awesome nick name--Kati and I participated in the Tortoise and the Hare Race here in Eau Claire and while doing it, I completely forgot that I am not in any way shape or form a runner (or a jogger) I am build for distance not for speed. But because of the little bit of running that I did do, I hobbled around the whole weekend like I had completed a marathon.
Even though I broke my pledge of working out while on vacation, I'm fine with it as well. While talking to a personal trainer I felt better about my temporary derailment, know that someone who's job it is to teach people to live healthier said "You know what, you should really just enjoy your vacation" It's true--and I did.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A Bit More
Not even a full pound to go until I have lost a total of 15 pounds. I lost another 1.4 this week. I'm so tickled.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
What's up with This???
I just have not been able to find the motivation, the time and/or something to blog about lately. Me unable to find something to blog about??? I normally have way too much to ramble on about (in fact on this mornings adventure, I thought "The Wandering Rambler" would have been a much better title to my blog than On the Loose--me and my sentimental-ness)
But I do feel bad about not getting on here to offer support to anyone who draws motivation from my rambling. I have been keeping up with my exercise program (mostly) It feels like it's staying darker longer and my body is being tricked into sleeping longer, which means that I've been heading out the door a little later and my walks have not been as long.
Last weekend, I went for an 8 mile walk. It was one of the first Saturdays when we really didn't have anything happening (I did have to work, but not until 3pm). So I set for my walk at 5 and walked until about 8 am--I was really sore that night at work. I decided that I was going to finally walk around Dell's Pond--which I didn't really end up doing, but I more or less did, I just went out a bit further and a stretch out this way and that)
Food has been working out OK-ish, for some reason I still can not bring myself to jot down what I'm eating, however, I am mentally keeping note--I think it just became "one more thing I needed to do in the day" and I had to let it go (at least for the time, I hope each week to start up again).
Tomorrow is that day again and I'm looking forward to seeing what the results will be. Tomorrow is also my last work day of the week. I will be on Va-K and I can not wait. A weekend of Stacy, just being Stacy--not someones mum or a wife or the maid or anything, just me having girl time.
As excited as I am, I am still a little worried too--I am going to be on vacation and there are going to be many wonderful chances to eat wonderful food and be relaxed and I'm sure my defence will be a little relaxed as well. I have a game plan in mind, however sometimes what I think I'm going to do and what I actually do could be two different things. I feel like I'm an al-key just getting out of rehab and heading to a wedding sporting an open bar. I'm worried that my food addiction will be stronger than me and I will prevail.
Damnit--I just need to stop that stinkin' thinkin' and not let my guard down and not use the the idea that "I'm on Vacation" to hell with my healthier life style" be a reason I go whole hog-- I need to stick to my game plan and remember "You are what you eat"=this is something I have discovered this time around, when I eat really crappy, I feel really crappy. I have packed a workout DVD and plan to take along ye O' ten-a-runners and find some time to recharge myself (you all will be checking to make sure I used one or the other wont you)--I figure even if I do some yoga or simply skip out on some of the shopping and take some time to walk (even a half hour) I should be okay. I will have a fabulous time and as I always say "just let it be what it is"--it's hard to take your own advice isn't it. I guess what I'm struggling the most with is not trying to come across as being ungrateful of someones fa-Boo cooking, or that I'm different than everyone else because while everyone chews on steaks, I will be nibbling away on a salad, but I need to remember that the people I am going with love me and want to be able to love me for a long time--so if I decide to slice up my steak and throw it onto a salad, then so be it--if I take a spin around the block instead of looking at craft displays--no one will be hurt. I should be a priority. I am a priority--and you are too.
But I do feel bad about not getting on here to offer support to anyone who draws motivation from my rambling. I have been keeping up with my exercise program (mostly) It feels like it's staying darker longer and my body is being tricked into sleeping longer, which means that I've been heading out the door a little later and my walks have not been as long.
Last weekend, I went for an 8 mile walk. It was one of the first Saturdays when we really didn't have anything happening (I did have to work, but not until 3pm). So I set for my walk at 5 and walked until about 8 am--I was really sore that night at work. I decided that I was going to finally walk around Dell's Pond--which I didn't really end up doing, but I more or less did, I just went out a bit further and a stretch out this way and that)
Food has been working out OK-ish, for some reason I still can not bring myself to jot down what I'm eating, however, I am mentally keeping note--I think it just became "one more thing I needed to do in the day" and I had to let it go (at least for the time, I hope each week to start up again).
Tomorrow is that day again and I'm looking forward to seeing what the results will be. Tomorrow is also my last work day of the week. I will be on Va-K and I can not wait. A weekend of Stacy, just being Stacy--not someones mum or a wife or the maid or anything, just me having girl time.
As excited as I am, I am still a little worried too--I am going to be on vacation and there are going to be many wonderful chances to eat wonderful food and be relaxed and I'm sure my defence will be a little relaxed as well. I have a game plan in mind, however sometimes what I think I'm going to do and what I actually do could be two different things. I feel like I'm an al-key just getting out of rehab and heading to a wedding sporting an open bar. I'm worried that my food addiction will be stronger than me and I will prevail.
Damnit--I just need to stop that stinkin' thinkin' and not let my guard down and not use the the idea that "I'm on Vacation" to hell with my healthier life style" be a reason I go whole hog-- I need to stick to my game plan and remember "You are what you eat"=this is something I have discovered this time around, when I eat really crappy, I feel really crappy. I have packed a workout DVD and plan to take along ye O' ten-a-runners and find some time to recharge myself (you all will be checking to make sure I used one or the other wont you)--I figure even if I do some yoga or simply skip out on some of the shopping and take some time to walk (even a half hour) I should be okay. I will have a fabulous time and as I always say "just let it be what it is"--it's hard to take your own advice isn't it. I guess what I'm struggling the most with is not trying to come across as being ungrateful of someones fa-Boo cooking, or that I'm different than everyone else because while everyone chews on steaks, I will be nibbling away on a salad, but I need to remember that the people I am going with love me and want to be able to love me for a long time--so if I decide to slice up my steak and throw it onto a salad, then so be it--if I take a spin around the block instead of looking at craft displays--no one will be hurt. I should be a priority. I am a priority--and you are too.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
1.4
Last night I had a very loverly walk with my friend Kati (are we still friends after the stairs of hell?) My heel was veery mad at me after I got done and I spent the rest of the evening trying to stretch to make it a little happier.
This morning, the alarm rang at 4:45 and I pulled myself out of bed, trudged to the bathroom and was thinking (can a person really think at that hour of the day) of going back to bed, but I felt something kick me from behind and figured I better get my shoes on and head out the door or I would have to answer to someone (who else is crazy enough to be up at that time of the day???)
I did not take my normal "last chance workout" route this morning--I figured the hills may only make my heel madder--plus after the massive stair climbing last night, I figured I would be okay without the all the hills this morning. I took a route that I use to take almost every morning--the one where I was so excited when I would get just a little bit further then the last time. It is the most boring walk--an out and back trail with a lot of early morning traffic, it's loud and smelly--but it is still one of my favorites. I think part of it comes from clearly being able to see just how far I've come. Not only do I get to see how far I go each time I use it, but I get to see just how much progress I am making. I remember the pride I felt the first time I walk across the entire bridge (I even let out a loud woot when I did it) now I don't really even notice (which is a little sad) I think my most favorite part of the walk is that I am normally greeted by the rising sun. Good Morning--life is good.
Well after that reflect little meander, I came home and weighed in--down 1.4 pounds this week. I am pleased.
This morning, the alarm rang at 4:45 and I pulled myself out of bed, trudged to the bathroom and was thinking (can a person really think at that hour of the day) of going back to bed, but I felt something kick me from behind and figured I better get my shoes on and head out the door or I would have to answer to someone (who else is crazy enough to be up at that time of the day???)
I did not take my normal "last chance workout" route this morning--I figured the hills may only make my heel madder--plus after the massive stair climbing last night, I figured I would be okay without the all the hills this morning. I took a route that I use to take almost every morning--the one where I was so excited when I would get just a little bit further then the last time. It is the most boring walk--an out and back trail with a lot of early morning traffic, it's loud and smelly--but it is still one of my favorites. I think part of it comes from clearly being able to see just how far I've come. Not only do I get to see how far I go each time I use it, but I get to see just how much progress I am making. I remember the pride I felt the first time I walk across the entire bridge (I even let out a loud woot when I did it) now I don't really even notice (which is a little sad) I think my most favorite part of the walk is that I am normally greeted by the rising sun. Good Morning--life is good.
Well after that reflect little meander, I came home and weighed in--down 1.4 pounds this week. I am pleased.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
It's been a (B)lo{n}g time
I have not been very faithful in my blogging lately--one being I was having a hard time getting into this site for some reason and b) I just have simply not been feeling very bloggy (which probable means I should blog as it helps keep me more focus) Not only have I not been blogging, but I have not been logging my food or really logging any miles. Tomorrow may be very interesting. I have been making mental notes as to what I am eating, but I know that it is not the same (no one can see in lead & white that I ate four desserts at Kaylee's shower on Sunday--yes four)
I have been using my foot as an excuse to be lazy and I have started to slide towards my old bad habits. I have been sleeping in, which in turn makes me feel more sluggish and guilty which is down right depressing. I want to feel that spark and spunk that I had even just a week or so ago (some of it I am pinning on Dot Disorder). I want to feel a little bit of a bounce in my step and that sense of pride that I get after I complete a great walk--I think what I really need is just a kick in the butt--who is going to give it to me?
I have been using my foot as an excuse to be lazy and I have started to slide towards my old bad habits. I have been sleeping in, which in turn makes me feel more sluggish and guilty which is down right depressing. I want to feel that spark and spunk that I had even just a week or so ago (some of it I am pinning on Dot Disorder). I want to feel a little bit of a bounce in my step and that sense of pride that I get after I complete a great walk--I think what I really need is just a kick in the butt--who is going to give it to me?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Blog-a-log-log
I feel as though I have not blogged it out in a long, long, long time. I guess I just have either been too busy or just don't have a lot to blog about.
Everything is going along just swimmingly (swimming, that sound fun) I have been suffering from a little bit of pain, so I have been trying to take it a little easy--I have not been out for an early AM walk in what feels like forever. I want my foot/calf to heal up so that I do not make things worse. I have been trying to get in some sort of work out here and there--but I do so very much miss my wonderful walking time.
About a month ago, I actually remembered to take my measurements (that is something I normally forget to do--that and before picture--so okay, I really don't forget to take the before pictures, I more or less avoid doing them) And I re-measured myself a few days ago and I am happy to say that in total, I have lost 11.75 inches. I'm so excited for the progress--the numbers are looking good and most importantly, I am feeling great!!!
Tomorrow will give away the details of how I celebrated the 4th...so far no gains or stand stills--I can only hope this is an on going trend.
Everything is going along just swimmingly (swimming, that sound fun) I have been suffering from a little bit of pain, so I have been trying to take it a little easy--I have not been out for an early AM walk in what feels like forever. I want my foot/calf to heal up so that I do not make things worse. I have been trying to get in some sort of work out here and there--but I do so very much miss my wonderful walking time.
About a month ago, I actually remembered to take my measurements (that is something I normally forget to do--that and before picture--so okay, I really don't forget to take the before pictures, I more or less avoid doing them) And I re-measured myself a few days ago and I am happy to say that in total, I have lost 11.75 inches. I'm so excited for the progress--the numbers are looking good and most importantly, I am feeling great!!!
Tomorrow will give away the details of how I celebrated the 4th...so far no gains or stand stills--I can only hope this is an on going trend.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
My Jouney:Week 4
July 1, 2009
Dearest Readers:
The past 4 weeks have not all been easy--there have been times when I have wanted to throw my salad on the floor and kick and scream until someone brought me some damn fries. But I didn't. There were mornings that I fought with the voices in my head. Most of the time, the voices won. There were points that went un-counted, hills left un-climbed, and moments when I wanted to throw in the towel. But even without being perfect, I did just fine.
Not only am I lighter because of all my work, I'm prouder (that is a word, right?) I'm more confident, I feel accomplished. I have changed. I did not realize that I would be gaining so much by losing.
On this journey so far I have tried to take my attention away from trying to become thinner and think about become healthier. I get excited when the scale continues to call out smaller numbers--but I get more excited when my pedometers claims I have walked another step further than the day before. I have grown to love the way my body feels after pushing it up yet another hill. I have enjoyed walking in the rain, the wind & the heat. For so long I have been disconnected with simple things that bring me joy. I'm glad they have found their way back into my life or should I say I have found my way back to them. Blessed Be the trees, lakes, and rivers.
I have also rediscovered that water taste good and vegetables are yummy. Thai food and pizza are also wonderful. I can have all the things I love and it's okay. It's all about balance. I like feeling balanced again. I have been living of kilter for way to long. It's nice to finally start having a bit of ME back. I LOVE IT!!! I just love it.
Week 4 results:
Changes since last week: - 2.2 pounds
Changes since start: -10.4 pounds
Dearest Readers:
The past 4 weeks have not all been easy--there have been times when I have wanted to throw my salad on the floor and kick and scream until someone brought me some damn fries. But I didn't. There were mornings that I fought with the voices in my head. Most of the time, the voices won. There were points that went un-counted, hills left un-climbed, and moments when I wanted to throw in the towel. But even without being perfect, I did just fine.
Not only am I lighter because of all my work, I'm prouder (that is a word, right?) I'm more confident, I feel accomplished. I have changed. I did not realize that I would be gaining so much by losing.
On this journey so far I have tried to take my attention away from trying to become thinner and think about become healthier. I get excited when the scale continues to call out smaller numbers--but I get more excited when my pedometers claims I have walked another step further than the day before. I have grown to love the way my body feels after pushing it up yet another hill. I have enjoyed walking in the rain, the wind & the heat. For so long I have been disconnected with simple things that bring me joy. I'm glad they have found their way back into my life or should I say I have found my way back to them. Blessed Be the trees, lakes, and rivers.
I have also rediscovered that water taste good and vegetables are yummy. Thai food and pizza are also wonderful. I can have all the things I love and it's okay. It's all about balance. I like feeling balanced again. I have been living of kilter for way to long. It's nice to finally start having a bit of ME back. I LOVE IT!!! I just love it.
Week 4 results:
Changes since last week: - 2.2 pounds
Changes since start: -10.4 pounds
Monday, June 29, 2009
Actual Results
The results are in--my official time was 1:38:27. I averaged about 15:51 per mile. I am pleased--however, my body is still telling me that was a little too much a little too fast. I took yesterday off from walking and this morning I did not get out there either (I'm hoping to get something in by the end of the day).I'm very excited!!! I found out that I do not have to work on Friday and I'm going to head North with the kids on Thursday evening. Friday morning I believe Martin and I are going to participate in the Fishy Four in Chetek. If you are in the area, please join us or come cheer us on. Here's a link in case you would like more info.
On a cute note, my 7 1/2 year old told me the day of the race that he thought I looked skinnier. He thinks all the walking is to with it. I love him.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
10K
The official results are not in yet (and I didn't bother to check), the important part is,
I FINISHED!!!
I don't believe I was the last person in--my pedometer says I worked at an aerobic pace for 99 min. I remember looking at my watch after I was done and I believe I commented to Adam that I came in 6 or 9 minutes after I told them to be there. As soon as RCU has it posted, I will let you all know what the real time is (until then please feel free to sit on the edge of your seats)
I finished much faster than I predicted (I was giving myself about 15 minutes per mile). The faster finish might have something to do with my running start. I had no intentions of running in the beginning--my plan was to hold back a little at first, warm up a bit, then only run on the down lows (that's my street talk for declines). I knew for sure that I was going to run in the spot I last saw that killer fox.
Since I can not simple tell a quick story, I will go in depth.
Adam and the kids came with me for registration. I picked up my little packet, got my time chip, got my number pinned on and chatted with the fam for a wee bit. They took off. Since we got there around 7:00 I had about an hour to wait for the race to start. That was a long time waiting for something to happen. Since I did not know anyone there (that was a dig to make some people feel bad) I did some stretching on my own, and focused on the "big race" ahead. Someone told us to got get lined up for the 10k around 10 to 8.
While walking to the starting line, I noticed that there were signs for paces meaning if you run a mile in 7 minutes you should stand here. I went to the 10 + mile section. and stood in the middle. Someone started talking (someone that was supposed to be) and since I could not hear that person, I started moving up. Still couldn't hear her (there was a lot of excited chatter happening) And then the gun went off. And everyone one around me started running. And so I ran (not very far mind you, but I did make it all the way past the RCU Corporate Building)
And thus the race began. I felt really great when I got to the first mile marker in 12 minutes. And a little bummed when it took me over 15 to get to some of the others. I did some running here and there--mostly to keep my distance from people. It was a good walk. At one point I remember thinking "What did I get myself into?" But I would do it again. If not for myself but for the fact that right now, as I type Martin is outside running in prep to do this event next year. And that right there is worth every second I pounded the pavement.
I FINISHED!!!
I don't believe I was the last person in--my pedometer says I worked at an aerobic pace for 99 min. I remember looking at my watch after I was done and I believe I commented to Adam that I came in 6 or 9 minutes after I told them to be there. As soon as RCU has it posted, I will let you all know what the real time is (until then please feel free to sit on the edge of your seats)
I finished much faster than I predicted (I was giving myself about 15 minutes per mile). The faster finish might have something to do with my running start. I had no intentions of running in the beginning--my plan was to hold back a little at first, warm up a bit, then only run on the down lows (that's my street talk for declines). I knew for sure that I was going to run in the spot I last saw that killer fox.
Since I can not simple tell a quick story, I will go in depth.
Adam and the kids came with me for registration. I picked up my little packet, got my time chip, got my number pinned on and chatted with the fam for a wee bit. They took off. Since we got there around 7:00 I had about an hour to wait for the race to start. That was a long time waiting for something to happen. Since I did not know anyone there (that was a dig to make some people feel bad) I did some stretching on my own, and focused on the "big race" ahead. Someone told us to got get lined up for the 10k around 10 to 8.
While walking to the starting line, I noticed that there were signs for paces meaning if you run a mile in 7 minutes you should stand here. I went to the 10 + mile section. and stood in the middle. Someone started talking (someone that was supposed to be) and since I could not hear that person, I started moving up. Still couldn't hear her (there was a lot of excited chatter happening) And then the gun went off. And everyone one around me started running. And so I ran (not very far mind you, but I did make it all the way past the RCU Corporate Building)
And thus the race began. I felt really great when I got to the first mile marker in 12 minutes. And a little bummed when it took me over 15 to get to some of the others. I did some running here and there--mostly to keep my distance from people. It was a good walk. At one point I remember thinking "What did I get myself into?" But I would do it again. If not for myself but for the fact that right now, as I type Martin is outside running in prep to do this event next year. And that right there is worth every second I pounded the pavement.
Friday, June 26, 2009
A (just about completely) True Story
ttch. ttch. ttch. …The sound of a pair of feet approaches me. Not to fast or slow. Running in at steady tempo Ttch. Ttch. Ttch. The noise grows louder. TTCH. TTCH. TTCH. I move over, my own feet hug the trails edge. TTCH! TTCH!! TTCH!!! In a quick moment, this runner passes me and I am in awe.
Every muscle in this well trained body captivatingly moves with each stride. Calves, gluts, hamstrings, quads. Triceps, biceps, delts, pecs. Working together, all conditioned to do this job. Each and every single muscle is doing its trade very well. This vessel performing as if it were a well conducted orchestra. TTCh. TTCh. TTCh.
The new day sun glistens on moist skin. A soak tank top worn as a badge of honor indicates that many miles have been run. Slight beads of sweat trickle down the runner’s neck. Confidents is maintained with a head held high. Breathing is slightly labored, but hardly struggled.
The runner pulls further ahead. TTch, TTch. The steady pace compelling them forward, taking them way from me. I want to keep up. I wish to lose myself in this song, too. “I need to be just like you,” I think to myself. Ttch Ttch Ttch. An athlete. Full of grace. A picture of good health. So elegant. So inspiring.
This runner is everything I aspire to become. This runner is why I get up every morning and push myself faster and harder. In my imaging’s, someday, someone will see me the same way I am seeing you. With admiration, with desire, with longing. You have painted a picture of perfection in my mind…and then you spit.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Thankful for the Voices in my Head
I wasn't going to do it--I was just going to crawl back into bed and take my 1.something weight loss for this week, but the voices in my head made me do it any way. I got dressed and dragged my ass out the door.
At first they told me I would only have to walk for a half an hour. (Ha) Then they told me that I would only have to walk to the top of the hill that leads into Carson Park. They LIED.
They told me that I could walk through the Park (just the trail that skirts it, not walk through the entire park) So I did.
When I saw a fox--for some reasons the voices told me that I needed to do the fox trot to put a little distance between me and this killer fox that lurks the famous Eau Claire Park. So I ran, and then the voices told me that since I was already running why not just run a little further--and so I ran s'more (mmmm s'mores).
When the voices told me that I could make it all the way around Half Moon Lake and back home in time, I would just have to cut through the cemetery to do it, I did not listen--I'm not crazy, jeesh (we all know I would have tried if I didn't have to be home before 7am)
Then the voices starting telling me that I am amazing--how proud they are of me and that I could do this--they chatted about how I could accomplish this half-marathon I plan to participate in--heck they even thought I could do a full marathon.
Then they finally shut up--leaving me to enjoy my morning solitude, enjoying the song of the birds and able to hear every snapping twigs in wooded area next to the trail (I know that fox was on my trail, I just know it). I walk in silence. I walked in pride. I walked and walked and walk, just by myself.
The cheering started again as I climbed a final hill only a block or two left to go--but wait, a voice called--if you just turn this way and walk a little further, you will have covered 5 miles this morning. Okay, I can walk a little further.
When a little further came and I was about to double back and earn my five miles, the voice spoke loudly, why would you want to walk the same old path back, turn this way. Okay. "Oh," the voice claimed, "I forgot there were hills here. Guess you will just have to walk up another hill"
Once at the top of that hill, the voice made me walk down another which forced me to climb up again. It tried to tell me that there was a better way around, but I put my foot down and climbed up the much steeper hill in spite. In total this "little bit further to make it 5 miles" turned in to 5.46 miles. I'm so glad I didn't look at my pedometer other wise the voices would have told me, hey why not make it an even 5.5 (maybe tomorrow).
After it all, I'm thankful for the voices in my head (this time) because my last chance workout turned my 1.something into a 3.2 loss for a grand total of 8.2 pounds down in three weeks time (I have been doing this for about 2 1/2 weeks longer than I figured I would) So thank you to all the "voices" that keep me from climbing back in bed and make me climb hills instead, thanks for believing in me, believing that I can do it. Thanks for the cheers and love; the pushing and the little bit of meanness you sometimes give. Without you, I would not be where I am today.
...I really hope my new MP3 player comes today.
At first they told me I would only have to walk for a half an hour. (Ha) Then they told me that I would only have to walk to the top of the hill that leads into Carson Park. They LIED.
They told me that I could walk through the Park (just the trail that skirts it, not walk through the entire park) So I did.
When I saw a fox--for some reasons the voices told me that I needed to do the fox trot to put a little distance between me and this killer fox that lurks the famous Eau Claire Park. So I ran, and then the voices told me that since I was already running why not just run a little further--and so I ran s'more (mmmm s'mores).
When the voices told me that I could make it all the way around Half Moon Lake and back home in time, I would just have to cut through the cemetery to do it, I did not listen--I'm not crazy, jeesh (we all know I would have tried if I didn't have to be home before 7am)
Then the voices starting telling me that I am amazing--how proud they are of me and that I could do this--they chatted about how I could accomplish this half-marathon I plan to participate in--heck they even thought I could do a full marathon.
Then they finally shut up--leaving me to enjoy my morning solitude, enjoying the song of the birds and able to hear every snapping twigs in wooded area next to the trail (I know that fox was on my trail, I just know it). I walk in silence. I walked in pride. I walked and walked and walk, just by myself.
The cheering started again as I climbed a final hill only a block or two left to go--but wait, a voice called--if you just turn this way and walk a little further, you will have covered 5 miles this morning. Okay, I can walk a little further.
When a little further came and I was about to double back and earn my five miles, the voice spoke loudly, why would you want to walk the same old path back, turn this way. Okay. "Oh," the voice claimed, "I forgot there were hills here. Guess you will just have to walk up another hill"
Once at the top of that hill, the voice made me walk down another which forced me to climb up again. It tried to tell me that there was a better way around, but I put my foot down and climbed up the much steeper hill in spite. In total this "little bit further to make it 5 miles" turned in to 5.46 miles. I'm so glad I didn't look at my pedometer other wise the voices would have told me, hey why not make it an even 5.5 (maybe tomorrow).
After it all, I'm thankful for the voices in my head (this time) because my last chance workout turned my 1.something into a 3.2 loss for a grand total of 8.2 pounds down in three weeks time (I have been doing this for about 2 1/2 weeks longer than I figured I would) So thank you to all the "voices" that keep me from climbing back in bed and make me climb hills instead, thanks for believing in me, believing that I can do it. Thanks for the cheers and love; the pushing and the little bit of meanness you sometimes give. Without you, I would not be where I am today.
...I really hope my new MP3 player comes today.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Fighting Back
Help!!! Today my body seems to be fight back at me. It is really pissed off that I have not been feeding it the amounts of food that it needs to keep me at my "comfort weight"--which, by the way, my comfort weight is not comfortable to live in, it's just the weight that my body tend to gravitate towards.
I always joked about how it takes a lot of work to maintain my ample state, but in reality it wasn't a lot of work--it was just a complete friggin free for all--see it eat it, don't care. Today, I just felt hungry, like really hungry not eating out of boredom or eating to soothe some sort of emotional feeling. I had grumbling and actual pangs of hunger. So I ate--did I eat everything I should have? Not completely--did I say within my goal range--as far as I can tell I think I did. I didn't eat a whole pizza, I tried to make some sensible choices. I didn't over eat, I just feel like I was eating all day long. Like I could not get enough.
I think there is something that my body is trying to tell me and I just don't know what the signals are yet. My body is searching for something (I really wish I had a map for this journey) Aside from trying to get itself back to that comfort zone--I think I am missing something in my "diet". I know that I need to eat more veg--I'm doing great with fruits because there are so many yummy fruits that are coming into season, blueberries, strawberries, (I'm getting hungry just thinking about it, stop, stop right now) For some reason, even though I love vegetables, I have a hard time eating them, or eating enough of them. I need to make sure that I am doing that.
Also I think that I am not eating enough protein--I need to find some good, lean sources of protein to eat--other than just chicken all the time. (say aren't legumes a good source of protein?) Not sure if I want to get into adding protein powder to things yet--I have to look into that more.
I really dig blogging out my thoughts, because I think it really helps me "see" what I need to be doing. It would have never crossed my mind that maybe just maybe my body was craving something I was not giving it--something more than just cookie dough. I can win this. I am winning this. Wednesday will be my 3 weigh in. I am pretty proud that I have stuck with this so far--I'm happy that this has not been one of those I'll start tomorrow type things and then nothing really happens (except me being disappointed with myself because I couldn't even last until ten a.m. I think I really might just like this taking care of me, making sure I'm a priority thing. I think I do.
I always joked about how it takes a lot of work to maintain my ample state, but in reality it wasn't a lot of work--it was just a complete friggin free for all--see it eat it, don't care. Today, I just felt hungry, like really hungry not eating out of boredom or eating to soothe some sort of emotional feeling. I had grumbling and actual pangs of hunger. So I ate--did I eat everything I should have? Not completely--did I say within my goal range--as far as I can tell I think I did. I didn't eat a whole pizza, I tried to make some sensible choices. I didn't over eat, I just feel like I was eating all day long. Like I could not get enough.
I think there is something that my body is trying to tell me and I just don't know what the signals are yet. My body is searching for something (I really wish I had a map for this journey) Aside from trying to get itself back to that comfort zone--I think I am missing something in my "diet". I know that I need to eat more veg--I'm doing great with fruits because there are so many yummy fruits that are coming into season, blueberries, strawberries, (I'm getting hungry just thinking about it, stop, stop right now) For some reason, even though I love vegetables, I have a hard time eating them, or eating enough of them. I need to make sure that I am doing that.
Also I think that I am not eating enough protein--I need to find some good, lean sources of protein to eat--other than just chicken all the time. (say aren't legumes a good source of protein?) Not sure if I want to get into adding protein powder to things yet--I have to look into that more.
I really dig blogging out my thoughts, because I think it really helps me "see" what I need to be doing. It would have never crossed my mind that maybe just maybe my body was craving something I was not giving it--something more than just cookie dough. I can win this. I am winning this. Wednesday will be my 3 weigh in. I am pretty proud that I have stuck with this so far--I'm happy that this has not been one of those I'll start tomorrow type things and then nothing really happens (except me being disappointed with myself because I couldn't even last until ten a.m. I think I really might just like this taking care of me, making sure I'm a priority thing. I think I do.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Father's Day Outing
I managed to get a quick hour walk in before heading to our Father's Day outing. My brothers family and my family went fishing with Dad. We had such a nice day. First we met Uncle Duck & fam for Breakfast in Cameron--picked up lunch for all of us then headed up to go fishing at an old family favorite fishing hole.
We actually caught many fish--we let them all go though--I caught the biggest fish of the day--but my 11 or 12 inch bass was not big enough to keep. But I still caught the biggest fish. After we had lunch we hiked around the area my dad and brother deer hunt. It was so nice to walk around in the woods--I love to hike--wish I made more time to do that--it was a really nice day. It was nice to spend some time with my dad without his wife along--the kids loved being with grandpa too.
When we got home from our little day trip, I saw a package on our front steps--I was so excited when I figured out what it was. MY NEW PEDOMETER!!! I have it all set and ready to go. I will let you all know what I think of it after I have put it to use.
I am feeling sleepy (I think my tiredness reflects in this blog--are you all sleepy just from reading it?) I am going to go take a nice bath & then head to bed--5 am comes early (or maybe tomorrow is a sleep in day???)
We actually caught many fish--we let them all go though--I caught the biggest fish of the day--but my 11 or 12 inch bass was not big enough to keep. But I still caught the biggest fish. After we had lunch we hiked around the area my dad and brother deer hunt. It was so nice to walk around in the woods--I love to hike--wish I made more time to do that--it was a really nice day. It was nice to spend some time with my dad without his wife along--the kids loved being with grandpa too.
When we got home from our little day trip, I saw a package on our front steps--I was so excited when I figured out what it was. MY NEW PEDOMETER!!! I have it all set and ready to go. I will let you all know what I think of it after I have put it to use.
I am feeling sleepy (I think my tiredness reflects in this blog--are you all sleepy just from reading it?) I am going to go take a nice bath & then head to bed--5 am comes early (or maybe tomorrow is a sleep in day???)
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Gold Star
After 2 weeks of this journey, I am down a total of 5 pounds (I earn my first gold star!!!)
I figured after the weekend of eating (including Monday) I would have gained back everything I had lost last week. I am thrilled with my 1.2 pounds for this week (I think that's what it is???)
Also I had a doctor's appointment on Monday to go over my blood work. Everything looks good. I have dodged diabetes yet another year, my cholesterol numbers are looking better (up from last year a bit, however from 2 years ago, they are drastically better--maybe I'll post the differences later) I weigh 2 pounds less than my last trip and the thyroid levels seem to be in a good place (I think this is one of the first times I've had it tested that my meds did not need to be changed so that's a good thing, I'm finally getting balanced)
All in all, feeling much better today--
I figured after the weekend of eating (including Monday) I would have gained back everything I had lost last week. I am thrilled with my 1.2 pounds for this week (I think that's what it is???)
Also I had a doctor's appointment on Monday to go over my blood work. Everything looks good. I have dodged diabetes yet another year, my cholesterol numbers are looking better (up from last year a bit, however from 2 years ago, they are drastically better--maybe I'll post the differences later) I weigh 2 pounds less than my last trip and the thyroid levels seem to be in a good place (I think this is one of the first times I've had it tested that my meds did not need to be changed so that's a good thing, I'm finally getting balanced)
All in all, feeling much better today--
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Will I make my weight class?
Tomorrow is weigh in # 2. I am not looking forward to it at all. I feel like a wrestler the night before a match. All I care is if I break even--or that I have not gained back everything I lost last week. Today was a much better eating day, it really helped that I wasn't really hungry so I did not want to eat everything in sight. I'm sure I consumed enough calories the previous three days that my body could survive on that for a few more days.
I feel like the weather is--dark and dreary. Damned Dot Disorder . Normally I would turn to chocolate to help soothe what I'm going through, but since there is not any chocolate to be found and I feel much to drained to go get any. I feel like I'm going to be having an emotional storm coming on pretty soon. I'm not sure if it's related to my dot disorder or changing my eating habits, because I've been getting up and walking so blasted early. All I know is that I'm having a hard time spending time with me right now. I want to go sleep in the red tent tonight. I want to be alone and not have anyone touch me or need anything from me. I think I may just watch a really sad movie tonight so I can just cry and get it over with. I don't like these type of storms. The best thing about them is there always seems to be a rainbow at the end. I hope the rainbow comes soon.
I think the most frustrating thing about these feelings is I have no idea what it's about--I just feel an overwhelming wash of sadness. And anger. I think I might be lacking in some B vitamins, I'm going to go take some right now so the storm might just blow over quickly.
(I have not turned to food yet so there is a bit of silver lining) : )
I feel like the weather is--dark and dreary. Damned Dot Disorder . Normally I would turn to chocolate to help soothe what I'm going through, but since there is not any chocolate to be found and I feel much to drained to go get any. I feel like I'm going to be having an emotional storm coming on pretty soon. I'm not sure if it's related to my dot disorder or changing my eating habits, because I've been getting up and walking so blasted early. All I know is that I'm having a hard time spending time with me right now. I want to go sleep in the red tent tonight. I want to be alone and not have anyone touch me or need anything from me. I think I may just watch a really sad movie tonight so I can just cry and get it over with. I don't like these type of storms. The best thing about them is there always seems to be a rainbow at the end. I hope the rainbow comes soon.
I think the most frustrating thing about these feelings is I have no idea what it's about--I just feel an overwhelming wash of sadness. And anger. I think I might be lacking in some B vitamins, I'm going to go take some right now so the storm might just blow over quickly.
(I have not turned to food yet so there is a bit of silver lining) : )
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The Weekend
My weekend was very full. Started it out by staying up until 1:30 chatting with Shell (she got here around 10:20 pm) Woke up at 5:30 and headed out for a very beautiful walk (all my my self) Walked for about 1:45 (not sure on the miles because I don't trust the ped--claims I walked 7.5 miles???) After some breakfast, a quick trip to the farmers market, and packing up, we headed to the family reunion.
We had a good time--drank a lot of water & for some reason, I was not able to stick to my plan of eating (that family of mine can be a bad influence) I'm not saying that I went hog wild, I just didn't do as well as I had hoped. Oh, well little I can do to change it now--it happened and it's time to move on---
Enter Sunday--did very well with food (no workout) at least I did well until I went to my work thing and my brains appeared to fall out of my head--cookies & taco dip & pizza--I'm frustrated with myself because I was going to bring a salad to eat, but I was lazy and didn't. Not all is lost, tomorrow is a brand new day--I've got a few days to buckle down and turn it all around before Wednesday Weigh In.
On a positive note--I bought some very big water jugs to take along with us to the Family Reunion (3 liters--101.something oz) I am going to re-fill those every night and it is my goal to finish the whole thing everyday. I have been just filling up my 32 oz mug all day long, but then I would forget how many I have drank--this way I can see and I hope it will help motivate me to drink up. What are your tricks for getting enough water in your day?
We had a good time--drank a lot of water & for some reason, I was not able to stick to my plan of eating (that family of mine can be a bad influence) I'm not saying that I went hog wild, I just didn't do as well as I had hoped. Oh, well little I can do to change it now--it happened and it's time to move on---
Enter Sunday--did very well with food (no workout) at least I did well until I went to my work thing and my brains appeared to fall out of my head--cookies & taco dip & pizza--I'm frustrated with myself because I was going to bring a salad to eat, but I was lazy and didn't. Not all is lost, tomorrow is a brand new day--I've got a few days to buckle down and turn it all around before Wednesday Weigh In.
On a positive note--I bought some very big water jugs to take along with us to the Family Reunion (3 liters--101.something oz) I am going to re-fill those every night and it is my goal to finish the whole thing everyday. I have been just filling up my 32 oz mug all day long, but then I would forget how many I have drank--this way I can see and I hope it will help motivate me to drink up. What are your tricks for getting enough water in your day?
Friday, June 12, 2009
What the hill?
This morning I got myself out of bed to get back into my early morning walking routine. I had not done it the past couple of morning due to one excuse or the other (at least I managed to work out in some way, shape, or form) Wednesday I claimed I did not want to get up and go walking on a fasting tummy and Thursday my legs hurt to bad???
I really missed my early morning walks. I love the alone time--that is how I recharge. I often forget that I need to go inward to balance myself. Sometimes I get so busy being "on" that I forget how much of an introvert I really am. My time in the morning allows me to take care of myself--give myself what I really need to function--I am better able to preform for everyone else when I take the time, no make the time, for me. It is so much better than that nap time "treat" I would give myself before to recharge (what a crock of pooh that kind of thinking is). Why did it take me so long to put that puzzle together?
Tomorrow I will be partaking in a family reunion--and like a lot of families--when we get together we like to eat together. I'm allowing myself a worry free day (a day of not keeping track) not think about the food as much as focusing on spending time with some very important people in my life. This does not mean I am going to go hog wild (I'm sure I will be somewhat calculating in my head and when I get home I will try to remember every little thing that went past my lips and writing it down in my food journal) I'm just going to be mindful of what I'm eating without going overboard (so that means I will not be eating 3 or 4 of Jodi's Special K Bars) but if she brings them, I will eat one. I think think the key for me in "food situations" is to remember to only take the things I only can get at special times. What I mean by that is I'm not going to eat potato salad tomorrow because that is something I can get rather often during this picnic season--but I don't always get to enjoy my Auntie Cheri's famous butterhorns, so I will have one, and enjoy the hell out of it. I'm going to make a Spinach & Strawberry Salad (with a Raspberry & Rhubarb Vinaigrette I bought at the farmers market--yum) to take along--that way I know there is a least one thing I can eat without worry (I'm sure someone will bring fruit salad and veg) I will also be taking along my trusty water bottle so I can make sure I get tons of the good stuff in as well. I think I am pretty much armed for a great day--and with all the laughs we love to share, I'm sure to get in a good ab work, too : o )
My Cousin Shelley (out of all the cousin Shelley's I have, she is my favorite cousin Shelley)is coming to stay with us tonight--I can't wait to see her and spend some extra time with her--get a head start on the abs--I wonder if she will be up for a morning walk with me--if nothing else, I'm going to take her to see our farmers market--she took me to the one in Madison last time I went to visit. (Open Air Art show tomorrow at Phoenix Park!!!)
I almost forgot to tie in the blog title. What the hill? This morning I decided to take a yet another new route--I went up a couple of really big hills (Folsom & Moulholt). As much as I feared them at the base of both of them, I really don't remember much more about them. I remember a time when I would have cheered and jumped up and down after "scaling" them--but now it just seems natural--and they don't appear to be the great beasts I once thought them to be, the hills have just become one more step to get me closer to one more mile. Another mile further on my journey.
I really missed my early morning walks. I love the alone time--that is how I recharge. I often forget that I need to go inward to balance myself. Sometimes I get so busy being "on" that I forget how much of an introvert I really am. My time in the morning allows me to take care of myself--give myself what I really need to function--I am better able to preform for everyone else when I take the time, no make the time, for me. It is so much better than that nap time "treat" I would give myself before to recharge (what a crock of pooh that kind of thinking is). Why did it take me so long to put that puzzle together?
Tomorrow I will be partaking in a family reunion--and like a lot of families--when we get together we like to eat together. I'm allowing myself a worry free day (a day of not keeping track) not think about the food as much as focusing on spending time with some very important people in my life. This does not mean I am going to go hog wild (I'm sure I will be somewhat calculating in my head and when I get home I will try to remember every little thing that went past my lips and writing it down in my food journal) I'm just going to be mindful of what I'm eating without going overboard (so that means I will not be eating 3 or 4 of Jodi's Special K Bars) but if she brings them, I will eat one. I think think the key for me in "food situations" is to remember to only take the things I only can get at special times. What I mean by that is I'm not going to eat potato salad tomorrow because that is something I can get rather often during this picnic season--but I don't always get to enjoy my Auntie Cheri's famous butterhorns, so I will have one, and enjoy the hell out of it. I'm going to make a Spinach & Strawberry Salad (with a Raspberry & Rhubarb Vinaigrette I bought at the farmers market--yum) to take along--that way I know there is a least one thing I can eat without worry (I'm sure someone will bring fruit salad and veg) I will also be taking along my trusty water bottle so I can make sure I get tons of the good stuff in as well. I think I am pretty much armed for a great day--and with all the laughs we love to share, I'm sure to get in a good ab work, too : o )
My Cousin Shelley (out of all the cousin Shelley's I have, she is my favorite cousin Shelley)is coming to stay with us tonight--I can't wait to see her and spend some extra time with her--get a head start on the abs--I wonder if she will be up for a morning walk with me--if nothing else, I'm going to take her to see our farmers market--she took me to the one in Madison last time I went to visit. (Open Air Art show tomorrow at Phoenix Park!!!)
I almost forgot to tie in the blog title. What the hill? This morning I decided to take a yet another new route--I went up a couple of really big hills (Folsom & Moulholt). As much as I feared them at the base of both of them, I really don't remember much more about them. I remember a time when I would have cheered and jumped up and down after "scaling" them--but now it just seems natural--and they don't appear to be the great beasts I once thought them to be, the hills have just become one more step to get me closer to one more mile. Another mile further on my journey.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
First Weigh In
I've been trying all day to post this blog, but for some reason, blogger.com was having issues.
The results for my first week are: I lost 3.8 pounds. I'm very pleased with my loss.
What I'm really proud of is that I have stuck with it. I know that I am only a week in, but so many times I start out saying today is the day and then around 10:30 I eat a loaf of bread worth of toast. I have had such an amazingly rich week. It feels like I have been doing this for much long than a week (both good and bad) but the most important thing is I AM DOING IT.
This morning I did not go for my morning walk (I'm starting to miss those, but I have been loving the extra sleep) I had some lab work done for my up coming doctor appointment and I was required to fast. I did not think it would be very wise to work out on an empty tummy. I did however somehow get Adam to walk to the farmers market with me and all the kids (which means I was pushing my big quadzilla--I think that has to really up my workout factor) The walk was only a bit over 3 miles, but pushing the stroller with 3 children in it makes it feel more like 8 miles.
I finally got around to trying out the wii Active tonight--so far I enjoyed it. There are some things about the "game" that I think I just need to get use to, but the workout itself made me sweat.
Hope you are being part of the change that you want to see.
The results for my first week are: I lost 3.8 pounds. I'm very pleased with my loss.
What I'm really proud of is that I have stuck with it. I know that I am only a week in, but so many times I start out saying today is the day and then around 10:30 I eat a loaf of bread worth of toast. I have had such an amazingly rich week. It feels like I have been doing this for much long than a week (both good and bad) but the most important thing is I AM DOING IT.
This morning I did not go for my morning walk (I'm starting to miss those, but I have been loving the extra sleep) I had some lab work done for my up coming doctor appointment and I was required to fast. I did not think it would be very wise to work out on an empty tummy. I did however somehow get Adam to walk to the farmers market with me and all the kids (which means I was pushing my big quadzilla--I think that has to really up my workout factor) The walk was only a bit over 3 miles, but pushing the stroller with 3 children in it makes it feel more like 8 miles.
I finally got around to trying out the wii Active tonight--so far I enjoyed it. There are some things about the "game" that I think I just need to get use to, but the workout itself made me sweat.
Hope you are being part of the change that you want to see.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Today's Workout
After yesterdays 8 miles, I decided to do something different this morning. I slept in a bit and hit the gym (aka my living room) and fired up a dvd that I had gotten from netflix (side note--what a great place to review workout videos)
I popped the DVD in and made my selection and I tell you...after the first 5 minutes I felt the sweat starting to form--but the end of the actual workout (which was only 20 minutes) I was dripping. There was a nice little cool down and I must say, I felt as worked out as I did after a nearly two hour walk.
So what is this sweat inducing program I did this morning. No, not Richard Simmons Sweating to the oldies. It was Biggest Loser Work Out Boot Camp. I have to say. I really enjoyed it a lot. You can customize the workout and it was really nice. Bob did a really nice job with this one. I give it 10 stars. I would do it again (that is if I can feel my body tomorrow) but I don't think I would give up my calm and peaceful walking--my day felt a little different without that 5 am start. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I'm excited to see what it is going to tell me.
Let me know what you did today--
I popped the DVD in and made my selection and I tell you...after the first 5 minutes I felt the sweat starting to form--but the end of the actual workout (which was only 20 minutes) I was dripping. There was a nice little cool down and I must say, I felt as worked out as I did after a nearly two hour walk.
So what is this sweat inducing program I did this morning. No, not Richard Simmons Sweating to the oldies. It was Biggest Loser Work Out Boot Camp. I have to say. I really enjoyed it a lot. You can customize the workout and it was really nice. Bob did a really nice job with this one. I give it 10 stars. I would do it again (that is if I can feel my body tomorrow) but I don't think I would give up my calm and peaceful walking--my day felt a little different without that 5 am start. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I'm excited to see what it is going to tell me.
Let me know what you did today--
Monday, June 8, 2009
Today
Well today was a good day. Yesterday I decided to take the day off and just relax a bit, however I felt guilty all day because of it. And felt even worse because we had take-out for lunch. Oh, well not every day can be a perfect day--
I ended up going for two walks today--one at 5 am and one at 5 pm--both about the same duration, however; the second one I ended up going further (this morning was a hilly walk). I'll let you know in the morning if walking over 8 miles in one day is a good thing.
Tomorrow night I will be walking with my friend Kati--she's going to show me part of the half marathon route. I'm so excited and can't wait. Not sure if I will make it double the walk tomorrow. I have really grown to enjoy my 5 am walks. It's so quiet and it gives me a chance to be alone and recharge and get what I need to start my day. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
On Wednesday I will have my first official weigh-in to see how my efforts are paying off. So Last Chance Workout day--teehee. We'll see, we'll see.
I ended up going for two walks today--one at 5 am and one at 5 pm--both about the same duration, however; the second one I ended up going further (this morning was a hilly walk). I'll let you know in the morning if walking over 8 miles in one day is a good thing.
Tomorrow night I will be walking with my friend Kati--she's going to show me part of the half marathon route. I'm so excited and can't wait. Not sure if I will make it double the walk tomorrow. I have really grown to enjoy my 5 am walks. It's so quiet and it gives me a chance to be alone and recharge and get what I need to start my day. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
On Wednesday I will have my first official weigh-in to see how my efforts are paying off. So Last Chance Workout day--teehee. We'll see, we'll see.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Beautiful
While I was on my walk this morning, I could not believe the amount of beauty that was all around me. The sun was rising, the river was perfectly flowing, the birds (yes I said birds) were singing their beautiful song, even the sound of the cars passing by had a beauty to them. I started thinking about beauty and how beautiful I felt at that moment. I was up and moving and doing something so good for myself. I was there making the most of what I have. I realized there is so much to beauty--and I was reminded of a piece I wrote last year and I wanted to share it with you all. You are all beautiful. We are all beautiful in every aspect of the word.
You called me beautiful.
Hearing that word automatically causes the muscles in my neck to tighten and my head has no choice but to turn away in disbelief. As I look down in an awkward manner, a heat that seems to burn with the surprising intensity of smoldering embers, slowly creeps up my neck, then tints my cheeks a subtle shade of crimson. My eyes are uncertain of where to look and a sheepish grin becomes visible. Gone is the smile you say you love so much.
In that one word I hear many things . . .
I hear an uncomfortable silence. I am not accustomed to hearing that word used to describe me. I have yet to remember my lessons of grace that had been so prevalent in past life. Lessons that taught me to smile charmingly, with a coy tilt of my head and say "thank you" with a ever-so-slight playful note of confidence in my reply. I have long forgotten the coaching that allowed me to presume that the words that fell from your tongue were truth.
I hear the echoing of nothingness bouncing off the walls of my childhood. Longing to hear my parents say the words that you so easily recognize in me. I don't remember hearing the very people who gave me the gift of life, uttering, "You're beautiful", not even a single "you're pretty." My scrawny frame, freckled-face, the fact that I was awkward and weird, and wore spectacles since age four, must not have conquered up images of beauty to them. Everyday a similar face looks up at me and says, "I love you mum", and without even a moment of hesitation I tell that beautiful face, that she is indeed beautiful and that I love her greatly. Maybe I see a beauty that my own parents never could see or maybe I was born during a time or into a home that did not understand the importance of fostering a child's self-esteem. I know, without a doubt, that my children have know that I feel they are beautiful in every aspect of the word. And I am not afraid to speak those words to them.
I hear the laughter of children who made me fall for their pranks "Hey, you're pretty…Pretty ugly that is." The word ugly is one I have no trouble believe about myself—for I know the truth about the events that have happened in my life, the good, the bad, and most obviously, the ugly. The events as seen through my eyes and held in my personal memory files. Moments that I can flip to when ever I need them and replay them just as I saw them take place. The way I saw them through my own thick, heavy glasses. How is it that silly childhood jokes have distorted my ability to see certainty as an adult?
I hear the voice of the one I thought was so true. The voice I claim to be the first to inform me that I was indeed beautiful. What an ugly time of my life that turned out to be. The sound of his voice still hurts me. Bitch, whore, tramp, slut, ugly girl, dirty, bad, bad, bad. No matter how hard I scrub, I cannot wash those words out of my mind. It was then that my beauty was extinguished, stamped out, cut, maimed, and changed. My beauty felt the cold metal of a gun barrel pressed against its back, the sharpness of a blade held to its throat, then feeling as though it had been shoved from the top of a towering pine, hitting every branch along the way, finally land with an reverberating thud on the cold, hard ground. Leaving me sticky with pitch, battered, and bruised from that day forward. Haunting me, till death do I part. Rotting.
Hearing the word sometimes paints a picture of an era when my beauty caused heads to turn in my direction and jaws to drop in awe. This was the moment in time when I could have my pick of any man. Tall, dark, handsome, rugged, chiseled men. Wealthy, smart, gentle, caring, passionate men. Choosing carefully or hast-fully, whichever the occasion called for. This beauty was only on the surface. This type of beauty was very dangerous. Hurting whomever, however, whenever. Because my wounds were still being licked clean from my earlier fall, at the end of this period, I ended up hurt myself most of all. This beauty faded as quickly as summer suddenly slips into autumn. As a dainty flower fades in beauty, I too have lost this type of gloriousness with each passing year.
I hear the empty promises of short-term lovers. The sounds of their voices whispering softly into my ears "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," as they greedily kiss my beautiful neck, taking my beautiful, delicate hands into theirs, with promise, an imaginary band drawn over my left ring finger. They would tell me everything I wanted to hear, just to fulfill their momentary desires. Images of fairytales with beautiful princesses rescued by knights on white stallions played through my mind. I felt myself riding off into the sunset holding tightly to my prince. Together forever. Until one day the prince found a maiden so fair, who happened to possess more beauty than I. I was left in the middle of a desolate land all alone, with tears and dirt smudging my beautiful face.
The word does bring back the memory of finally finding the man who makes my heart beat louder, the one who makes everything clearer, and who brings out more of my true beauty. Nothing is more beautiful than a bride. With great love comes great comfort and great comformability. Patterns begin to form and develop. Lovers become partners in life. New roles are taken on. Some of the romance is swept under the rug so day-to-day life can take center stage. After years of togetherness that love is a knowing. Words that were once spoken so readily become words that are assumed. The idea of my beauty has become understood, the word becomes one my groom doesn't feel he needs to speak as often as I need to hear it.
I hear the complaints of the scale as I plop my ample body up onto it. It wails, as do I, as it measures my once firm body. It gives out a little laughter as the results display on the little digital screen, taunting me with memories of lighter times. In a mere blink, I am brought back to the days when the scale ruled my life. I stripped down every bit of my clothing, stepped on it every time I came remotely close to it, judging my worth against the numbers on its face. Congratulating myself for a job well done if the numbers were in my favor or punishing myself when the digits were even a fraction too high. I walked endless miles, preformed countless reps, and strained my body all in the name of beauty only to watch it decline with each child I pushed into the world and with each year I celebrate.
I am, to some extent, aware that these are just the sounds in my head, the filters I have made, and the inner critics that judge the person reflecting back at me. The voices tend to dwell on the past and all its ugliness. They are unable or even unwilling to see the many different layers of beauty that are so very present. However, the voices, critics, and filters are sometimes louder than my inner sage and seem to delight in stacking on more and more disbelief upon the wall that they spent so many years building. They chant loudly, announcing all my flaws for the entire world to hear and surely the public believes everything they proclaim.
From time to time, I do hear the sound deep from within my soul. The knowing voice. The wise-ness that is deeper than the creases in my forehead, and wisdom that has grown fuller than my bosom. This voice pushes up through all the layers of hurt to remind me that beauty is more than skin deep. Beauty is there in the smile on my face and the story in my eyes. Beauty is ever changing, just like the seasons. Reminding me I should dance during all of the seasons of my life. My beauty is a story of true beauty, the beauty of my heart, of hope, of endurance. There is beauty in my action, my view of the world, in my spirit, and the amazing beauty of my talents.
When all of the corrupt voices are at bay, I am able to clearly hear my lover, my soul mate, my best friend, and my partner in life, the one to whom I will always and forever answer "I do". He whispers sweetly,"You are beautiful,” . I hear truth in his words. He draws me into him, embracing me with his entire being, inhaling my intoxicating scent. Gently kneading fingers follow the muscles of my elegant back. His hands trace the graceful flow of my hips. I feel truth in his touch. The sensation of floating over takes me, I grow dizzy with anticipation, he breaths love deep inside of me, and my spirit emerges, dancing. I am a goddess. My alabaster skin glistens in the moonlight. Wisps of soft auburn curls trickle over my shoulders and cascades down my back, clinging to my moist skin. Eyes closed down in ecstasy, lips part. As I arch towards heaven, exposing my breast, my feminine stomach, the secret realm of my desires, I feel the gods and the stars smiling all around me. It is in that moment that I recognize what you are saying. I am beautiful.
You called me beautiful.
Hearing that word automatically causes the muscles in my neck to tighten and my head has no choice but to turn away in disbelief. As I look down in an awkward manner, a heat that seems to burn with the surprising intensity of smoldering embers, slowly creeps up my neck, then tints my cheeks a subtle shade of crimson. My eyes are uncertain of where to look and a sheepish grin becomes visible. Gone is the smile you say you love so much.
In that one word I hear many things . . .
I hear an uncomfortable silence. I am not accustomed to hearing that word used to describe me. I have yet to remember my lessons of grace that had been so prevalent in past life. Lessons that taught me to smile charmingly, with a coy tilt of my head and say "thank you" with a ever-so-slight playful note of confidence in my reply. I have long forgotten the coaching that allowed me to presume that the words that fell from your tongue were truth.
I hear the echoing of nothingness bouncing off the walls of my childhood. Longing to hear my parents say the words that you so easily recognize in me. I don't remember hearing the very people who gave me the gift of life, uttering, "You're beautiful", not even a single "you're pretty." My scrawny frame, freckled-face, the fact that I was awkward and weird, and wore spectacles since age four, must not have conquered up images of beauty to them. Everyday a similar face looks up at me and says, "I love you mum", and without even a moment of hesitation I tell that beautiful face, that she is indeed beautiful and that I love her greatly. Maybe I see a beauty that my own parents never could see or maybe I was born during a time or into a home that did not understand the importance of fostering a child's self-esteem. I know, without a doubt, that my children have know that I feel they are beautiful in every aspect of the word. And I am not afraid to speak those words to them.
I hear the laughter of children who made me fall for their pranks "Hey, you're pretty…Pretty ugly that is." The word ugly is one I have no trouble believe about myself—for I know the truth about the events that have happened in my life, the good, the bad, and most obviously, the ugly. The events as seen through my eyes and held in my personal memory files. Moments that I can flip to when ever I need them and replay them just as I saw them take place. The way I saw them through my own thick, heavy glasses. How is it that silly childhood jokes have distorted my ability to see certainty as an adult?
I hear the voice of the one I thought was so true. The voice I claim to be the first to inform me that I was indeed beautiful. What an ugly time of my life that turned out to be. The sound of his voice still hurts me. Bitch, whore, tramp, slut, ugly girl, dirty, bad, bad, bad. No matter how hard I scrub, I cannot wash those words out of my mind. It was then that my beauty was extinguished, stamped out, cut, maimed, and changed. My beauty felt the cold metal of a gun barrel pressed against its back, the sharpness of a blade held to its throat, then feeling as though it had been shoved from the top of a towering pine, hitting every branch along the way, finally land with an reverberating thud on the cold, hard ground. Leaving me sticky with pitch, battered, and bruised from that day forward. Haunting me, till death do I part. Rotting.
Hearing the word sometimes paints a picture of an era when my beauty caused heads to turn in my direction and jaws to drop in awe. This was the moment in time when I could have my pick of any man. Tall, dark, handsome, rugged, chiseled men. Wealthy, smart, gentle, caring, passionate men. Choosing carefully or hast-fully, whichever the occasion called for. This beauty was only on the surface. This type of beauty was very dangerous. Hurting whomever, however, whenever. Because my wounds were still being licked clean from my earlier fall, at the end of this period, I ended up hurt myself most of all. This beauty faded as quickly as summer suddenly slips into autumn. As a dainty flower fades in beauty, I too have lost this type of gloriousness with each passing year.
I hear the empty promises of short-term lovers. The sounds of their voices whispering softly into my ears "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," as they greedily kiss my beautiful neck, taking my beautiful, delicate hands into theirs, with promise, an imaginary band drawn over my left ring finger. They would tell me everything I wanted to hear, just to fulfill their momentary desires. Images of fairytales with beautiful princesses rescued by knights on white stallions played through my mind. I felt myself riding off into the sunset holding tightly to my prince. Together forever. Until one day the prince found a maiden so fair, who happened to possess more beauty than I. I was left in the middle of a desolate land all alone, with tears and dirt smudging my beautiful face.
The word does bring back the memory of finally finding the man who makes my heart beat louder, the one who makes everything clearer, and who brings out more of my true beauty. Nothing is more beautiful than a bride. With great love comes great comfort and great comformability. Patterns begin to form and develop. Lovers become partners in life. New roles are taken on. Some of the romance is swept under the rug so day-to-day life can take center stage. After years of togetherness that love is a knowing. Words that were once spoken so readily become words that are assumed. The idea of my beauty has become understood, the word becomes one my groom doesn't feel he needs to speak as often as I need to hear it.
I hear the complaints of the scale as I plop my ample body up onto it. It wails, as do I, as it measures my once firm body. It gives out a little laughter as the results display on the little digital screen, taunting me with memories of lighter times. In a mere blink, I am brought back to the days when the scale ruled my life. I stripped down every bit of my clothing, stepped on it every time I came remotely close to it, judging my worth against the numbers on its face. Congratulating myself for a job well done if the numbers were in my favor or punishing myself when the digits were even a fraction too high. I walked endless miles, preformed countless reps, and strained my body all in the name of beauty only to watch it decline with each child I pushed into the world and with each year I celebrate.
I am, to some extent, aware that these are just the sounds in my head, the filters I have made, and the inner critics that judge the person reflecting back at me. The voices tend to dwell on the past and all its ugliness. They are unable or even unwilling to see the many different layers of beauty that are so very present. However, the voices, critics, and filters are sometimes louder than my inner sage and seem to delight in stacking on more and more disbelief upon the wall that they spent so many years building. They chant loudly, announcing all my flaws for the entire world to hear and surely the public believes everything they proclaim.
From time to time, I do hear the sound deep from within my soul. The knowing voice. The wise-ness that is deeper than the creases in my forehead, and wisdom that has grown fuller than my bosom. This voice pushes up through all the layers of hurt to remind me that beauty is more than skin deep. Beauty is there in the smile on my face and the story in my eyes. Beauty is ever changing, just like the seasons. Reminding me I should dance during all of the seasons of my life. My beauty is a story of true beauty, the beauty of my heart, of hope, of endurance. There is beauty in my action, my view of the world, in my spirit, and the amazing beauty of my talents.
When all of the corrupt voices are at bay, I am able to clearly hear my lover, my soul mate, my best friend, and my partner in life, the one to whom I will always and forever answer "I do". He whispers sweetly,"You are beautiful,” . I hear truth in his words. He draws me into him, embracing me with his entire being, inhaling my intoxicating scent. Gently kneading fingers follow the muscles of my elegant back. His hands trace the graceful flow of my hips. I feel truth in his touch. The sensation of floating over takes me, I grow dizzy with anticipation, he breaths love deep inside of me, and my spirit emerges, dancing. I am a goddess. My alabaster skin glistens in the moonlight. Wisps of soft auburn curls trickle over my shoulders and cascades down my back, clinging to my moist skin. Eyes closed down in ecstasy, lips part. As I arch towards heaven, exposing my breast, my feminine stomach, the secret realm of my desires, I feel the gods and the stars smiling all around me. It is in that moment that I recognize what you are saying. I am beautiful.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Major Accomplishment
I just have to blog this out really quick. Tonight I did something major. Even more major than pulling my big old rumper out of bed for two mornings in a row. I went with my friend to pick up food for her family and my new favorite eating spot. We had to wait for the food and I so very much wanted to order one of there famous Thai Iced Teas (not 100% sure, but thinking the point value on one of those is high). We waited, and I contemplated--thinking about the fact that I have extra points, how good it would taste, I thought about the fact that I would not have to share with my children (Sarah, I would have let you have a taste), I also thought about how thirsty I was and how that nice sweet creamy yummy tea would taste on such a lovely night. But you know what--I didn't. I'm so tickled with myself right now (but the tea would have been so worth it) I am going to find out somehow how many points it is worth and have a day where I treat myself--but I will make sure it happens when I plan it in, not just a just because it's there moment. What a great feeling!!! Now I'm going to go drink some water to quench this thirst of mine. Good Morrow.
Day Number 2
Day Number 1 Wrap Up:As far as the first day of my "Diet" goes, it went great!!! I even beat the fast food demons that were whispering in my ear while I was driving to work!!! Although I did end up buying a sandwich from the store and I don't know the exact nutritional information on it, I think I managed to stay within my guidelines. I thought I would end up crashing at some point on account that I was up so early, but I plugged through and I ended up creating some cute little cards for a class. I went to bed around 10:30.
Day Number 2.
This morning I got out of bed and headed out the door before 5am. Walk for an hour and 15--and so far today, the eating has been good. I have been measuring and checking portion sizes and kind of actually having fun with my "diet". I do not like to use that word, because I know that watching what I eat is something that I will always have to do--that's just the way my body is, I was not blessed with the skinny genes of my father's side of the family. I am truly amazed at how much a cup of blueberries really is. This picture is part of my lunchtime snack--1 cup of blueberries & 1 cup of strawberries. I had some cottage cheese to go with that and drizzled the whole thing with some wonderful balsamic vinegar--so very yummy, and way better than those frozen dinners (and way more food too I think). Don't you just want to have that for a snack?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Getting Started (Again)
I was asked a question this morning that threw me for a loop--"So what happened?" To be honest, I really didn't understand what was being asked of me. "You know what happened that made you decide to do this?" “Why is this time different?” “What lit the fire under your bum to get you out of bed so blasted early to go for a walk?” (Okay so these questions are not verbatim) My reply was I really don't know--I'm not really sure what it happened that made me decide that 6/3/09 would be the day that I made myself a priority. I’m still trying to figure that one out.
So here I am again. Starting over on this journey to a healthier me. In my defense, I have been working on this a bit this year--but now the time has come for me to really be serious about wanting to be the healthful, vibrant person I know I am. No more hiding behind, well, my behind, it’s time for the world to see the inner me (not that girl that I catch following me around and standing in front of me when I look in the mirror every time I try to catch a glimpse of myself) It’s time for this Star to Shine.
My plan is to blog out my thoughts, my progress, my feelings about exercise and food, my, my whatever else comes along and lands on here. Mostly I just want to have some form of checks and balance so I can stay true to my journey. I know that it is going to be a long journey. I do not want to go this alone; I cannot do this alone. I encourage anyone who wants to join me to come along, it’s going to be a fun ride (some one remind me that when I’m walking the last bit of a walk) I need all kinds of support and encouragement—on good days and on bad ones too—I will in return offer the same onto you.
I’ve got my gear all packed and I’m ready to head out on a trail that’s waiting for me. (I always visualize myself heading out on a backpacking trip when starting a journey like this, just something I do) So here we go…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
